What's a voice-over, you ask? Well, in between sketches we often need to reset the stage and prepare whatever fancy elaborate set we need next (usually a chair). To keep the audience amused we play a short joke or bit of dialogue over the speakers. Sam's Favourites: "Hey Chlorine, are you bringing anyone along to the solids and salts party?" "Na." Giraffes. Because sometimes horses deserve an uppercut. Dr. Who you saved the day again! I guess those bad guys can dar-lick my balls! N: I want my phone call. S: What's the use of a phonecall, Mr Anderson, when you haven't got a mouth. (beat) N: but I do have a mouth. S: You're one crafty son of a bitch Look, up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a bird! .. Guys, it's a bird! I found a bird! This. Is a voice over. "I believe the Earth was made 6000 years ago"
"TOO SOON!"
"Whoa, too soon." Gary: You know, I have never seen the Lion King?
Sam: Gary... you're blind.
Would the owner of the millenium falkon, liscense plate "Got the Force" please report to the front desk, you are currently parked on several cars. He's a crackpot professor with a time traveling Delorian. He's a wookie. Will they be able to stop the battle of Kashyyyk? Find out in, Chewbacca to the future! He's a crackpot professor with a time traveling Delorian. He's an 18th Century composer. Will they be able to go forward in time and bar rock from being invented? find out, in Bach to the future! Argon walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry mate, we don't serve noble gases". Argon doesn't react. I went into a book store to buy a Where's Wally book. Couldn't find it anywhere. Well played Wally, well played. I get confused by siamese cats. Where's the other one? Does size really matter? Find out on the hit new TV show: The Big Wang Theory. So a lion a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar and the bar tender says "I aint servin' Narnia". Jame's: "Mr Shady, your car is blocking the exit, can you please stand up and move it? I repeat, can the real Slim Shady please stand up? I'm trapped! I dont know where I am, I can't see anything! Someone please get me out of *muffle muffle muffled screaming* *GUNSHOT* *silence....* This is where you put your suggestions! You know how we think about aliens? Reckon horses feel the same way about unicorns? [Solid idea, needs a stronger punch.] A: Our next guest is a man who speaks in tongues! Would you please welcome Mr. John Wise!
B: Tongue, tongue, tongue, tongue, tongue. Sam: Hey Gary, did you hear the joke about the Indian triceratops? No of course you wouldn't have, you're deaf. A: Two peanuts were walking d- B: DUDE, IF YOU TELL THAT JOKE ONE MORE TIME I'LL A-SALT YOU! This week on Bondi Vet, the doctor sees a lizard with some serious health issues. Looks like a case of a reptile dysfunction!
Science Revue is happy to announce the next breakthrough in encoded communication - Moose Code! "Moose moose moose [pause] mooooooooooose moooooooooooose mooooooooooose [pause] moose moose moose"
The Faculty of Science presents: The Science Review! Special Relativity: four stars. The Big Bang: three stars. Astrophysics: billions of stars.
Sex: Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy
Ned Kelly: the original Iron Man
Introducing the ninja turtles: Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello, Rafael Nadal He's a crackpot professor with a time traveling Delorian. He's the Governer of California. Will they be able to go back in time and punch a dinosaur to save mankind? Find out in "I'll be back... To the Future!" He's a crackpot professor with a time-travelling Delorian. He's an utter fool from Japan. Will they be able to go back in time and do anything? Find out in Baka to the Future! We would like to advise that the previous sketch may have contained spoilers. "Hey check out my wooden leg" - Argh! A talking tree! (Sung) Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and bumped his crown (spoken word) and everyone in the town dehydrated. Twice. So good they named it twice. If Jesus had cut his hair and worn a suit to his trial, things would probably have gone a lot better. I was duelling with Voldemort the other day. I yelled expelliarmus and his arms fell off. Everytime someone says 'unaustralian' a dingo eats a baby. You have the heart of a lion. - How did you know I killed that lion?! A: Two peanuts walk into a bar- B: HOLY SHIT! WALKING PEANUTS! Why did the space cross the space? Space space space space space space! He's a crackpot professor with a time traveling Delorian. He's an award-winning songwriter. Will they be able to go back in time and win Eurovision? find out, in Bacharach to the future! Nerd World Problems: - I downloaded too much big bang theory <or replace with any other nerdy show like Doctor Who> and now I can't play WoW because my internet is capped. Nerd world problems Someone saved over my pokemon save AND I <WAS JUST ABOUT TO BEAT THE ELITE FOUR/ JUST CAUGHT A MEWTWO WITH A POKEBALL/GOT MY MAGIKARP TO LEARN TACKLE>! Nerd world problems I left my facebook profile open and now I like dick... Nerd world problems +++these are a few that came up initially but if we can write like a bazillion we can pick the funniest and go from there+++ |
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