I see the Principal as Denholm Reynholm from The IT Crowd.

FREUDIAN PSYCHOANALYSIS

TOM lying on leather couch, bespectacled PSYCH sits in armchair with a clipboard.

PSY: Well, it’s clear you’ve suffered a severe nervous breakdown, Thomas. In order to relieve the symptoms of your anxiety, I feel it would be a good idea to dig deep into your past, to discover a traumatic incident that may have occurred in your childhood.

TOM: You’re not one of those weird sexually fixated psychiatrists, are you?

PSY: Of course not.

PSY takes an arm full of phallic items and places them into a box below his desk.

PSY: I just think it may be useful to see if there’s an emotional trigger somewhere. Can you think of anything significant?

TOM: Not really, I had a pretty standard childhood.

PSY: There must be something.

Flashback to YOUNG TOM sitting in classroom. He raises his hand.

TOM: Excuse me Mum. I mean Miss.

STUD 1: Mum?

TEACH: What’s going on over here?

STUD 2: Tommy called you Mum, Miss.

TEACH: Excuse me?

STUD 3: That’s what he said.

TEACH: Do I look as though I could be genetically related to you in any way?

TOM: No, it just slipped out.

TEACH: Just slipped out? You had better keep your mouth in check!

TOM: People make mistakes-

TEACHER: How dare you.

The PRINCIPAL walks in.

PRINCIPAL: What the devil is going on here? Why are you raising your voice at a student?

TEACHER: Young Tom here had the audacity to call me “Mum”.

PRINCIPAL: (To teacher) I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour in my school. This is a place of learning. (To Tom) Not namby pamby wishy washy mummy's boy behaviour! Run! Get out of my sight! And don't bother returning - you're expelled!

The flashback fades back into the present day.

TOMMY: I called my year 8 teacher Mum once.

PSYCH: Tom, everyone does that, it's nothing. Then again, you called her Mum.

PSYCH pulls novelty sex-related thing from drawer.

PSYCH: We may have something here.