MAGICIAN is on stage with assistant in the background. MAGICIAN is holding a rabbit and a hat. Magician: There we go, and we'll just pop our rabbit friend back in there. Now, for our next trick. (Assistant goes backstage, come out with a large box on wheels, music starts playing) Magician: My lovely assistant will get in the box (Assistant gets in the box and lies down. Her legs come out the other side) Magician: All good, Mary? Assistant: Yes, Mesmerato! Magician: Alright, now for the next portion of this trick we'll - (Another assistant comes out in the same costume) Magician: (looks at second assistant) Uh.. We're going to need from the audience.. (Second Assistant starts spinning the box around) Assistant: What's happening? Magician: No, it's fine, Mary. It's fine. This is all .. normal. Now – from the audience I - (S.A. pulls out a cloth and waves it about) Magician: I - .. sorry, who are you? (S.A. Dances) Magician: Well, that's lovely but it doesn't answer my - (S.A. Pulls out a saw) Magician: Woah! What the hell is that?! Assistant: Who are you!? What are you doing here!? (S. A. dances) Assistant: Is that a saw!? Has she got a saw!? Magician: Don't worry – this is all part .. this is probably all part of – Did Bill hire you? Did Bill hire you and not tell me? (S.A. Dances behind box, readies saw) Assistant: What's she doing, Mesmerato!? Magician: It's uh – oooh Magic! Look at the magic! Assistant: Gary, what's she doing!? (S.A. Begins sawing) (Assistant screams) Assistant: This isn't part of the act! This isn't part of the act! Magician: It's just a trick, it's just a trick! Assistant: She's killing me! Magician: Murdertricks! Just a trick! A murdery violent trick! (Assistant screams) Magician: (Crying) HA HA HA WHAT A FUNNY - BIT – OF – ACTING – MAGIC – HA HA HA JUST – WHAT A MAGICIAN I MUST BE! OH BOY (breaks down) Assistant: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!? (Assistant and Magician scream together) (S.A. Pulls apart the now cut boxes. The legs kick, the head moves) Assistant: I'm okay! I'm okay it! It WAS just a trick! Magician: (stands) You're okay? Assistant: I'm fine! Really, I'm fine! It was just a really clever harmless - (dies) (pause) (Magician and S.A. Look at each other.) Magician: Ah, the ol' murder the woman in half trick. Classic. |