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*Superman and Supermum

SUPERMAN AND SUPERMUM

<Normal Lighting>

(Young SUPERMAN runs into the room and heads for the front door. His MOTHER enters)

MOTHER: No running indoors!

SUPERMAN: Sorry Mum I am aware of the no running indoors policy, it's just that Lex Luther's kidnapped a bus full of school-children!

MOTHER: Still that's no reason to be running indoors...

SUPERMAN: Well actually, yes it is, it's the best reason to be running indoors. I'm going downtown to save them.

MOTHER: What? Now? No way, Mister. It's too late at night, you could get shot!

SUPERMAN: No I couldn't. I literally couldn't. I'm faster than a speeding bullet.

MOTHER: Not in here you aren't. In our house you have to obey our rules. Where are your glasses?

SUPERMAN: Mum, I have 20-20.. I have x-ray vision.

MOTHER: Well you think with x-ray vision he'd be able to find his glasses! Have you packed a helmet?

SUPERMAN: Why would I need a...    

MOTHER: If you're flying you're wearing a helmet. You don't see me flying about without a helmet.

SUPERMAN: I don't see you flying about. 

MOTHER: And why aren't you wearing your cape? It's cold outside!

SUPERMAN: I think I'll be fine.

MOTHER: Why don't you stay home tonight, Clarky? Let's have dinner. I made a brisket!

SUPERMAN: No, Mum! I don't want brisket! I want to go and save the lives of that bus load of children!

MOTHER: Typical teenage boy, thinks he's Batman.

SUPERMAN: What??

MOTHER: Don't you raise your voice at me, Clarky!

SUPERMAN: Don't call me Clarky!

MOTHER: I'll call my son anything I want.

SUPERMAN: YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY REAL MUM!

MOTHER: [gasps] Clark Joseph Kent, you're grounded.

SUPERMAN: How are you possibly going to ground me? I'M SUPER....... <Green lighting>

MOTHER: [pulls out Kryptonite] [puts rock on chest]

SUPERMAN: [collapses] <IF ENOUGH LAUGHTER, lights down here>

MOTHER: Now I'll go get that Brisket.

<Lights down>
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