Hey guys :) this is a parody i wrote for the final round of call backs for muse's production of forbidden broadway last semester.. it got me a part in the musical, so i like to think that i succeeded in my aim of creating something cheezy, with plenty of room for flashy jazz hands..  

I'm imagining feather boas on girls AND boys.. long silk gloves, pearls, heels and lots of monroe-esque dancing. In the actual video, she's surrounded by men in suits, so maybe we could surround and caress a giant tin of SPAM?..   lol

Here's the actual song: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZRs__rmYMc&feature=related 

it's supposed to be sung with more excitement than sultriness, but i guess it could work both ways

LET YOUR IMAGINATIONS RUN WILD WITH IT :)

CANNED MEAT IS A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND:

The French are glad to dine 5 stars,

They delight in snails and bread,

But I want something, that’s light on the wallet, and… feeds my.. soul…

 

A Frankfurt, salami, or soup by continental?- No!

Canned meat is a girl’s best friend

Caviar might be grand but it, wont please the taste buds

Or keep you full- no not at all!

 

Fresh fruit goes old, and needs to be stowed,

So it will loose its charm in the end

Tight tinned in aluminium, and sealed to perfection,

Canned meat is a girl’s best friend!

There may come a time when a lass needs indulgence, 

 But canned meat is a girl’s best friend,

There may come a time when a big huge Pavlova   

Sounds awful nice!

….But what a price!

 

It’s your food when mums not home

It’s very-very simple to prepare!

 

An egg tart, a jam cake will surely leave you pear shaped!

CANNED MEAT IS A GIRLS BEST FRIEND!

DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND: 

"The French are glad to die for love,


They delight in fighting duels,


But I prefer a man who lives and gives
Expensive jewels.



A kiss on the hand may be quite continental


But diamonds are a girl's best friend


A kiss may be grand... but it won't pay the rental on your humble flat


Or help you at the automat


Men grow cold as girls grow old


And we all lose our charms in the end


But square cut or pear shape these rocks don't lose their shape


Diamonds are a girl's best friend

There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer

But diamonds are a girl's best friend

There may come a time when a hard boiled employer thinks you're awful nice

But get that ice or else no dice

He's your guy when stocks are high 

but beware when they start to descend

It's then that those louses go back to their spouses

Diamonds are a girl's best friend!