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Sex Premonition

MARY: Hey Greg.
GARY: We’re going to have sex together!
MARY: Excuse me?
GARY: I had a premonition last night that we’re going to have sex. I even have the evidence right here. (Drops a pair of pants on the floor with a wet patch on them) That’s the power of premonitions right there.
MARY: Greg. What you had was a wet dream!
GARY: Wet, (
points to pants) yes! Dream? I think not! For you see, I don’t dream Mary. For all my dreams come true!
MARY: Name one dream that’s come true.
GARY: Once I had a dream about going to school. Another time I had a dream where I waited in line.
MARY: You had a dream about waiting in line?
GARY: Yeah! And then it came true!
MARY: They’re both very average things. Is there any dreams you’ve had that are unusual that have actually come true?
GARY: One time I had a dream about falling! And just the next day it happened! I went sky diving! Actually, I went sky diving, and then I had a dream about falling. And then I went sky diving again!
MARY: It just seems like you fulfilled your own prophecy there.

GARY: One time I had a dream that I was naked in front of a large crowd of people.
MARY: Did that happen?
GARY: No. But I’ll make it happen.
MARY: It just seems like your having very average dreams and fulfilling your own prophecies.
GARY: One time a had a dream that aliens from the planet Narklon’na’tok visited me and granted me the power to make paint dry faster.
MARY: That’s a very mild power.
GARY: How long ago did you paint your nails Mary?
MARY: About 5 minutes ago.
GARY: Check them.
MARY: They’re dry. But I mean, they could have just dried -
GARY: One time I had a dream that your middle name is Anne.
MARY: Well it is.

GARY: One time I had a dream that your mother works on a jam farm.
MARY: How did you know that?
GARY: One time I had a dream that your dog was run over.
MARY: My dog?
GARY: Well I ran over your dog, but it was by accident.
MARY: Oh god!
GARY: And just last week I had a dream that a man would throw a priceless vase onto the ground, in three, two, one.
Juliets+sugar glass.
GARY: And last night I had a dream we’ll have sex together. And so it’s definitely going to happen!
MARY: And this is inevitable?
GARY: Yes.

Clown enters.

GARY: Right on schedule.