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*Schrodinger Housesitter

SCHRODINGER HOUSESITTER

<Normal lighting>

SCHRODINGER is sitting in a chair reading a newpaper, there's a box in the middle of the room. Couple enters the room.


SCHRODINGER: Hey guys

BOTH: Hey!

SCHRODINGER: How was the honeymoon?

JOHN: Wonderful! Thank you for house sitting

SCHRODINGER: Don't mention it.

JOHN: (Calling out) Ginger! Ginger! Here ginger! Mary, I can't find ..

MARY: Um... have you seen our cat?

SCHRODINGER: Maybe.

JOHN: Maybe? I don't understand. You were supposed to be minding -

(A meow comes from the box)

MARY: Did you just hear a -

JOHN: Yeah, I could have sworn I heard a -

(meow)

JOHN: OH MY GOD!

(Meows again)

MARY: Schrodinger, did you lock our cat in this box!?

SCHRODINGER: Well, I might have.

JOHN: Get her out of there!

SCHRODINGER: I can't!

MARY: Why not?

SCHRODINGER: We don't know whether she's alive or dead.

JOHN: There aren't any air holes!

SCHRODINGER: She may not need them!

(Meow, pause, thump.)

MARY: Oh my god! You've killed our cat. (JOHN wails) Schrodinger, you've--

JOHN: She had so much to give!

MARY: Schrodinger, you've killed our cat!

SCHRODINGER: That's a half-truth!

JOHN: How could you do this? We invited you into our home and you nail our cat into a box until she suffocates.

SCHRODINGER: Look, Mary... John ... I might be really sorry. I may not have known what I was doing, and I will probably ask your forgiveness. But ... and this is a big but ... If you never open the box I have technically done nothing wrong.

MARY: Done nothing wrong? You've killed our cat.

SCHRODINGER: How do you know!?

JOHN: I can see the corpse!

SCHRODINGER: MURDERER! You killed your cat by observing it!

JOHN: That's impossible!

SCHRODINGER: That's science!

JOHN: Schrodinger... I don't understand why would you .. why would you - I hope you took better care of Timmy

SCHRODINGER: Well! ... Maybe.

<Lights down>

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