PEOPLE SMUGGLER JANE enters the apartment. As she does so, a chair spins around revealing SAM, her husband. SAM: Hello Jane. I think it's time we have a talk. JANE: Sam? A talk about what? SAM: Ohoho, don't go playing games with me Jane. You see, I know what's been going on here. JANE: What are you talking about? SAM: All these men. Under my very nose. In my own house! Strange men in my own house! Don't pretend I don't know what you've been doing. JANE: Darling, just come out and say it. SAM: People smuggling. JANE: Sorry, what? SAM: People smuggling. The smuggling of people and it's taking place in my own house! JANE: Sam, you're being- SAM: Don't you "Sam" me, dear. Three days ago! 12 o'clock. I'm at work, realise I've left a folder on the kitchen table. I come home, hear a noise upstairs, go to the bedroom, and what do I see? You, smuggling a man out of our house! Letting him down the balcony with a rope. If that's not people smuggling I don't know what is! JANE: It's this kind of stupid rant that made me do it! SAM: Do what? Ruin your country? Help the queue-cutters? Betray the Queen? Yes, that's right, Jane, I said queen. I voted for the republic! And none of your despicable people-smuggling can take that away from me! JANE: Oh, for god's sake, Sam, he was my lover. I've been cheating on you. SAM: But that doesn't explain the... Oh, yes, it explains everything. You're a sex trader. JANE: I'm not a sex trader! Lights down |