<Lights are down, this sketch is lit by torchlight>

Group burst through the back door of the York. TIM is in front. Nerdy, but hardened, holding a rifle. Followed by NANCY, SARAH, ETHAN and CHARLIE.  Everyone has a mishmash of weaponry.

TIM: Shut the door. SHUT THE DOOR! STOP CRYING NANCY!

NANCY: He's dead – He's dead!

TIM: Shut up! There could be infected in here..

SARAH: We need to bar these doors. They were right behind us.

(Zombie seen on stage by torchlight. Howls)

ETHAN: Tim!

(Tim fires on the stage. Zombie drops.)

Charlie: We need to clear this room!

(Tim and Sarah run onto the stage. Zombies come from both wings and are killed)

(Scream is heard from the back of the theatre)

TIM: Sarah! Sarah!

ETHAN: She's gone, Tim.

TIM: Sarah!

ETHAN: DAMMIT TIM, SHE'S DEAD! SHE'S ALREADY -

(Zombie grabs Ethan, bites him)

ETHAN: Aaah!

(Gunshot. Zombie drops. Ethan falls on the stage, bleeding)

TIM: Ethan! No – Ethan!

ETHAN: SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME!

TIM: I can't!

ETHAN: I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE OF THEM – I DON'T -

(gunshot)

(sound of Zombie rumblings increases)

(Tim and Nancy are back to back in the middle of the stage)

NANCY: I'm scared, Tim..

TIM: I know.

(beat) <Low blue light on stage>

(noises increase)

TIM: Well.. it seems that you and I are two left alive. Guess it's up to us to repopulate-

NANCY: No, Charlie's still alive.

Charlie: Yeah, did you forget that I -

(gunshot. Charlie drops)

TIM: (louder and slower) WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU AND I ARE THE ONLY TWO LEFT ALIVE I GUESS IT'S UP TO US TO REPOPULATE -

NANCY: Did you just kill Charlie?!

TIM: He was a zombie.

NANCY: He wasn't a zombie!

TIM: He was probably a zombie!

NANCY: He was talking!

TIM: He was talking about zombies!

NANCY: That doesn't make you a zombie!

TIM: Well, it looks like we're the only two left alive. I guess it's up to us to repopulate-

NANCY: This really isn't the time for this, Tim!

TIM: It's the end of the world! There literally will be no other time for this!

NANCY: I told you I just want to be friends. I don't want to date you.

TIM: No, what you said was that you wouldn't date me unless we were the last two people on earth. Well, guess what, Nancy!? Looks like we are the last two people on earth! Looks like you've lucked out in this apocalypse because now you finally get to be with a guy who has seen all of the star trek films, is a level 60 dark elf and appreciates the smell of your hair. We are the last two people on Earth and that makes you my girlfriend.

NANCY: Tim-

TIM: An oral contract is binding, Nancy! An oral contract is binding!

NANCY: Tim… Did you release the zombie horde..?

TIM: (looks guilty).. (beat) .. What?

NANCY: Did you release the zombie horde!?

TIM: ... Nup.

NANCY: Tim!

TIM: It was a gesture!

NANCY: Tim! How the hell could you -

TIM: I was trying to be romantic! They say chivalry is dead -

NANCY: They say the entire population of the world is dead!

TIM: Undead.

NANCY: That still counts, Tim!

(groans increase)

NANCY: They're coming..

TIM: What a crazy first date this is!

NANCY: Tim! Please!

(Zombie enters holding flowers. Gunshot. Drops)

TIM: I got you these flowers.

(Tim fires into the wings. Groan. Thump.)

TIM: And this bottle of wine.

(Tim fires into the opposite wing. Groan. Thump)

TIM: (O.S.) And this .. oh, that's a severed head.

(Zombies flood the stage)

NANCY: Tim! Tim!

TIM: I'm trying to find a picnic basket. This is going to be perfect!

NANCY: Tim!

(Zombies converge on Nancy. She screams. They pile on top of her. Tim walks in firing)

TIM: Noooo!

(Zombies fall off. Nancy emerges. She's a zombie.)

TIM: Well, it looks like we're the only two left..

(NANCY walks towards him, mouth open trying to bite)

TIM: Finally! (leans in for a kiss)

<Black>

End.