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Indianna Jones and the tenure of doom

Indianna Jones walks in to the Dean's office. There are a few university officials there (Helen and Oscar) too.

DEAN: Ah Dr Jones, thanks for coming in, have a seat.

INDIANNA: Of course Dean. But I haven't got long, there's a helicopter waiting outside to take me to Tibet.

DEAN: Yes, that's something we need to talk about. Helen, would you mind checking Dr Jones's travel expenditure?

HELEN: Dr Jones has spent $200,000 of the university's funds on travel Dean.

INDIANNA: That's less than my salary!

HELEN: In the last week.

INDIANNA: Do you know how much it costs to tour the ruins of the Balwahi empire?

DEAN: $150,000 was spent on hats.

INDIANNA: Well I need to look good representing the University! And you're lucky I don't charge my whip fee anymore. Didn't I bring in a bunch of money from my exhibit on the treasures of Ancient China?

DEAN: Yes quite, Helen how much did we make from those exhibits?

HELEN: $5000

DEAN: and Oscar, how much did we have to pay in legal fees and compensation when the Chinese government sued us for stealing and exhibiting the terracotta warriors?

OSCAR: 5 million dollars

INDIANNA: I'll make it back with the Balwahi treasures!

DEAN: No Indianna, it stops here. I have revoked your travel privilages. Also you have something in the vicinity of 7 semesters of teaching to make up from all the time you spent globetrotting on the university's dollar. I've rescheduled your classes, you now have 8 hours of lectures a week plus 12 tutorials and these will be taught STRICTLY WITHIN THE CURRICULUM. No telling stories of your adventure, the fanclub is getting out of hand.

INDIANNA: Hey now I didn't start the fan club! And it brings in money!

OSCAR: $5 joining fee, 500 members, that's only $2500. You'd need over a million members to make back the money you have cost the faculty in the last week let alone the last 3 years.

INDANNA: Come on Dean, there must be something else I can do. I hate teaching.

DEAN: Fine. Either you stick to the schedule I've given you or you can pay back the 127 million dollars that you have cost the university.

INDIANNA: Fine I'll make another movie. But no snakes!

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