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JACK is wearing a floral sheet with a scary face drawn in texta on the facial region. Jill is sitting on a chair. Jack enters.

JACK: Woooooo! Woooooo! Jill! Jill! It's Jack! Woooooooo!

JILL: Uh, hi Jack. How's it going?

JACK: Jill! Jill! I have terrible news!

JILL: What, Jack? Have you taken to surrealist performance art again?

JACK: No, Jill, worse than that! Woooo!

JILL: DId you get tangled in the washing line?

JACK: No, Jill! Woooooo! I'm dead, Jill!

JILL: Really? WHat happened?

JACK: Ooooh! Uuuuuuum! I got tangled in the washing line, Jill!

JILL: So you suffocated?

JACK: Yeeeeees, Jill! Exactly! Wooooo!

JILL: So that's why you have a sheet on your head?

JACK: Yeeeees! I mean, noooooo! I'm a ghost, JilL! And I have some terrible news!

JILL: [sarcastic] Oh, god, no.

JACK: Yeeeees! We can no longer be together! I am no longer bound tot his mortal plane and so I must move on! I have to break up with youuuuuuuuuu!

JILL: You're breaking up with me?

JACK: Yes, Jill! I need you to move oooout!

JILL: But it's my house!

JACK: ...not anymore! I must haunt it till the end of days.

JILL: Hang on, though, I think I deserve an explanation! 

JACK: For what? I thought I made it perfectly clear! Woooooo!

JILL: Well, for a start, why can I see your legs?

[JACK starts to explain but Jill cuts him off]

JILL: Also, there's no such thing as ghosts! And you're covered in flowers!

JACK: Ghost flowers!

JILL: There's no such thing as ghost flowers!

JACK: How would you know, Jill? You're not a ghost!

JILL: Neither are you, Jack.

JACK: Uuuuuuuuuum! Yes I am!

JILL: Right, if you really are a ghost, walk through that wall.

[JACK "floats" towards wall, smacks head, turns and "floats" back]

JACK: I meant to do that.

JILL: Sure, Jack. Sure. Give me my sheet back.

[JILL pulls the sheet off Jack. Beneath the floral sheet is another white sheet with a scary face over Jack's head]

JILL: Oh god! You really are a ghost!

JACK: Woooooooooooo!