JACK is wearing a floral sheet with a scary face drawn in texta on the facial region. Jill is sitting on a chair. Jack enters. JACK: Woooooo! Woooooo! Jill! Jill! It's Jack! Woooooooo! JILL: Uh, hi Jack. How's it going? JACK: Jill! Jill! I have terrible news! JILL: What, Jack? Have you taken to surrealist performance art again? JACK: No, Jill, worse than that! Woooo! JILL: DId you get tangled in the washing line? JACK: No, Jill! Woooooo! I'm dead, Jill! JILL: Really? WHat happened? JACK: Ooooh! Uuuuuuum! I got tangled in the washing line, Jill! JILL: So you suffocated? JACK: Yeeeeees, Jill! Exactly! Wooooo! JILL: So that's why you have a sheet on your head? JACK: Yeeeees! I mean, noooooo! I'm a ghost, JilL! And I have some terrible news! JILL: [sarcastic] Oh, god, no. JACK: Yeeeees! We can no longer be together! I am no longer bound tot his mortal plane and so I must move on! I have to break up with youuuuuuuuuu! JILL: You're breaking up with me? JACK: Yes, Jill! I need you to move oooout! JILL: But it's my house! JACK: ...not anymore! I must haunt it till the end of days. JILL: Hang on, though, I think I deserve an explanation! JACK: For what? I thought I made it perfectly clear! Woooooo! JILL: Well, for a start, why can I see your legs? [JACK starts to explain but Jill cuts him off] JILL: Also, there's no such thing as ghosts! And you're covered in flowers! JACK: Ghost flowers! JILL: There's no such thing as ghost flowers! JACK: How would you know, Jill? You're not a ghost! JILL: Neither are you, Jack. JACK: Uuuuuuuuuum! Yes I am! JILL: Right, if you really are a ghost, walk through that wall. [JACK "floats" towards wall, smacks head, turns and "floats" back] JACK: I meant to do that. JILL: Sure, Jack. Sure. Give me my sheet back. [JILL pulls the sheet off Jack. Beneath the floral sheet is another white sheet with a scary face over Jack's head] JILL: Oh god! You really are a ghost! JACK: Woooooooooooo! [lights] |
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