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Enchanted Restaurant

The scene opens at a restaurant, there is a table for one with a waiter and a guest. 
(Waiter has a very heavy french accent)

Waiter: Good evening Sir, Welcome to the Enchanted Restaurant. Where we serve only enchanted cusine. What will your order be?

Guest: I think I'll start an entree, what is the house special for this evening?

Waiter: Ah! Zat would be ze black caviar, flown in from ze Tropical Seas of ze Pacific Ocean zeis very morning. It 'as a beautiful, salty, human taste.

Guest: (nods -pauses) I'm sorry, did you just say... human? what kind of fish is that?

Waiter: Ah! Why its is Mermaid of course.


Waiter: Well, Zis is the Restaurant of Enchanted Cuisine.

Guest: (looks horrified)

Waiter: Perhaps Sir/Madam would like to look at our main course instead? We do have a lovely equestrian steak, very well marbled, cooked in creamy mushroom sauce, served with a light salad and horn.

Guest: I'm sorry did you say 'horn''?

Waiter: Yes, very good marrow in Unicorn horn.

Guest: Oh my god... I think I just  lost my appetite.

Waiter: (Shocked) Oh no, no, no Sir/Madam! Zat will not do! Perhaps I may recommend our dessert, the chef's famous chocolate sauced Brownie Cake?

Guest: (pales) Those arent ... made from...real... you  know... real Brownies?

Waiter: Real Brownies?

Guest: Yes, you know, those little elf things, that look like fairies.

Waiter: (with disgust) No, of course not! what kind of monsters do you think we are? (Spits on guest and walks out)

(Lights Down).