Show Archive‎ > ‎2011‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎

Cat In The Hat

[Two kids sitting at home. Stage is filled with a table and chairs as well as other household props]

Boy: Mum & Dad are out, what should we do?

Girl: Lets do some drawing.

Boy: With crayons?

Girl: Yeah, lets do that!

Boy & Girl: Hooray for crayons!

[Kids set up for crayons as the Cat in the Hat storms in and smashes a prop]

B & G: AHHHHH!

[Cat In The Hat smashes another prop]

Boy: Stop breaking our stuff!

[Cat In The Hat smashes another prop]

Cat: Stop? why on earth would I want to do that? It’s so much fun breaking all of your crap!

Girl: Who are you?!

Cat: Good question girl, the answer to that, is I’m your friendly neighbourhood Cat in the Hat.

[Cat In the Hat smashes another prop]

Boy: Why do you talk like that?

Cat: The reason I talk like this all of the time is it’s so much more fun always speaking in rhyme

Girl: Well its annoying.

[Cat In the Hat smashes another prop]

Girl: Stop it!

Boy: Stop breaking our stuff, no please not our goldfish.

[Cat In the Hat smashes goldfish bowl]

Boy: NEMOOOOO!

Girl: You’re a monster!

[Cat In the Hat smashes another prop]

Girl: STOP!!!

[Parents come in]

Dad: AH! Who are you?

Cat: Good question Dad, the answer to that, is I’m your friendly neighbourhood Cat in the Hat

Dad: Ah! A talking cat!

Girl: (sobbing) Dad, he came in and he broke our table and chairs and he killed Nemo!

Dad: Why would you do that?

Cat: I like to do all the things that I’ve done because breaking and smashing is so much fun!

[Cat In the Hat smashes another prop, possibly the hat off Dad’s head]

Dad: STOP DESTROYING OUR STUFF! Why are you here?

Cat: The reason for all of my naughty capers, is I’m here to serve you your divorce papers!

Dad: Marjorie...?

Mum: I’m screwing your brother.

[Hard lights. End]

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