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Sherlock Ohms - Act 1 (Revolutions)

(Scene begins after opening song)

Madame: Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats - we will begin in just a moment.
(All bar main move to the audience)
Madame: Good evening friends, supporters and most importantly, benefactors - On behalf of the Light Brigade Foundation I would like to welcome you to this evening's presentation.
(Audience applauds)
Madame: As you well know -  The Light Brigade is a collection of benefactors determined to bring the magical wonder of electricity to the masses. This exciting new technology holds endless possibilities - everything from electric carts to electric horses to pull those electric carts! It is our expressed wish that .. 
(Madame continues to mime her speech)
Sherlock: I don't like this, Wattson.
Wattson: What is it, Sherlock?
Sherlock: My crime sense is tingling.
Wattson: You have a crime sense?
Sherlock: I was bitten by a radioactive crime once
Madame: It is a sad truth that every night thousands of young children are forced to work in factories all over this city, performing medial tasks by a dull flickering candlelight. It is the wish of the Light Brigade to create an artificial source of light so these children may work more efficiently for longer hours, because let's face it - industry doesn't stop (small chuckle)
Sherlock: I can feel it in my detective bone - something is going to go down.
Madame:  - and then we commissioned our beloved inventor to create this artificial "light bulb" and he - oh, well he can explain it better than I can - without further adieu, Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome the inventor of the light bulb Professor Phil Arment! 
Sherlock: I bet he did it
Wattson: Did what?
Sherlock: Has there been a crime yet?
Wattson: No .. 
Sherlock: Oh - well, when there is I bet he did it.
Inventor: Thank you, thank you - You're too kind. Now - I'm sure you're all wondering what is a light bulb? Why is a lightbulb? Who is a lightbulb? Am I a light bulb?
Sherlock: Is he a light bulb?
Wattson: I don't believe he's a light bulb.
Sherlock: I wish I was a light bulb
Inventor: A light bulb is an artificial source of light invented by me, Professor Phil Arment, and funded by the lovely people here at the Light Brigade Foundation. The Light Brigade: Citizens for a better tomorrow. Among the people I'd like to thank is the head of the light brigade, dearest Madame thank you for allowing the use of your mansion tonight. I'd also like to introduce my distinguished guests. Firstly, Mr. Jack O'Lantern
Wattson: He's the heir to the O'Lantern Candlestick Fortune!
Sherlock: He did it!
Inventor: My brother, Major Reg Arment
Wattson: He's just returned from serving in Africa!
Sherlock: He did it!
Inventor: My personal physician, Doctor Susan Q. Doctor M.D.
Wattson: She's .. I've never heard of her
Sherlock: She did it!
Wattson: Did what!?
Sherlock: She committed the crime!
Wattson: There hasn't been a crime!
Sherlock: Well, there probably will be soon!
Inventor: And finally, our guest of honour - here to unveil my invention - the most famous detective in the world
Sherlock: Ooh, I like the sound of this
Inventor: The man who has solved more crimes than Scotland Yard
Sherlock: Now we're getting somewhere
Inventor: Fresh from solving the case of the missing link
Sherlock: I bet he's a handsome devil too
Inventor: Mr. Sherlock Ohms!
Sherlock: Thank you, thank you so much - It's such an honour to be here. Today is the day that light comes under the domain of man. Everything the light touches shall be our kingdom. I remember when i was first told about the invention of this "light bulb" - Do you remember, Wattson?
Wattson: I do remember, Sherlock
Sherlock: How do you remember, Wattson?
Wattson: It was yesterday, Sherlock
Sherlock: And what did I say, Wattson?
Wattson: You asked me what a light bulb was, Sherlock
Sherlock: I asked you what a light bulb was. What an inquisitive question. Well done to me. Five detective points to Sherlock. I think I'm going take the Sherlock award again this year, Wattson.
Wattson: I think you are sir.
Inventor: Yes, very good. Very good. Now, if you don't mind - It's time to science.
Wattson: It's time to science?
Sherlock: Listen to the man, Wattson - It's Science O'Clock. Unveil the bulb!
(Crowd oohs)
Inventor: Now - to turn on the bulb for the first time. Sherlock, in just a moment I'd like you to flick this switch.
Sherlock: Very well. 
Inventor: Excellent - Let's begin. Jeeves, if you would, Dim the candles.
Wattson: Dim the candles!?
(The candles dim)
Wattson: Wow - It worked.
Inventor: Of course it worked - it's science. Case in point - Sherlock - flick the switch!

Sherlock: Hmm, okay. Let's see now. Hmm.

Inventor: You just need to -

Sherlock: No, it's okay. i've got it. I've got it.

(The bulb comes on, lights go up - Crowd Oohs)

Madame: It's marvellous

Sherlock: Truly most impressive

Major: I think it's a bit too bright, little brother.

Inventor: Quiet, Reg!

(Light bulb flickers)

Major: And not exactly long life, is it?

Inventor: What's going on? This isn't supposed to happen.

(Bulb goes off - Room is dark)

Madame: This is outrageous

Major: Ah well, better luck next time Little Brother. I guess i'm still the only success in the family. Aren't I? Little Brother? … Phil? 

Sherlock: Raise the candles!

(Lights come back on, the inventor is dead, a candlestick by his side)

(Everyone gasps)

(Screamer screams) 

(Beat - Scream continues - Everyone turns and looks at the Screamer)

(Intake of breath)

Sherlock: I -

(Scream continues - Screamer looks back at the others)

(Scream slowly dies)

Sherlock: You done?

(Short scream)

Screamer: ... (Goes to scream again) (beat) (closes mouth) That seems to have done it.

Doctor: Back away, I am a medical doctor of medicine. (Grabs the Inventor's hair) No pulse. This man is suffering from a case of clinical deadness.

Sherlock: What's the cause of death, Doctor? 

Doctor: That's Doctor Doctor. And judging by this bruise pattern, it seems he was struck with this candle stick to the back of his face.

Jack: The light bulb! It's been stolen!

Sherlock: But the light was only out for a short moment. The only people who would have time to bludgeon the inventor, steal the bulb, and return to their place are those on this stage. That means one or more of you is guilty of the murder of Professor Phil Arment.

(Crowd Oohs)

Sherlock: Quiet! Clear the room!

Crowd Member 1: Aw, but we wanted to see you solve the crime.

Sherlock: This is not a circus, this is serious. Now, get out.

Crowd Member 2: You suck!

Wattson: No, you suck!

Sherlock: Thank you, Wattson. Now, everyone clear the floor. And seal the doors behind you. This room is now a crime scene.