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Rejected Titles

Some of the rejected titles for the 2010 Revue. You never know, they might inspire some sketches or future titles...
Mammalien (vs. Predator ?)

Flying through space in their wonderful spaceship is a crew of harmless mining aliens, who are eager to get home and share their shipment of the rare and valuable element Unexpectium with the rest of their race. The trouble is, they receive a distress signal and so they decide to investigate... and the signal leads them to a small, blue-green planet orbiting around a yellow star in one of the spiral arms of the Galaxy known as the Milky Way. As they land and survey the strange wildlife, suddenly one of them gets bitten by a strange creature. As the other aliens watch in horror his chest bursts open and out of it pops a strange pink creature walking on two legs with five fingers on the end of each hand... a human! Desperately, the aliens try to get back to their ship, but one by one they are plucked off in increasingly graphic and nasty ways, until only one remains, who manages to escape of course. And that’s how humans came to exist on planet earth! As an aside, I would love to have the heroic person to die and the spineless gibbering moron to survive, because having the uncool people die really doesn’t hold out much hope for most of us.

The Bourne Approximation

Max Bourne is an FBI mathematician. A really cool mathematician. A nerd undeterred! He uses his skills of pure and applied maths to fight crime! When the police are stumped, and let’s face it, they always are, they call on Max Bourne and his assistant Lambchop to come in and solve the mysterious mystery. Now Max Bourne has his new assignment. A guy has been brutally stabbed with a set square and Max Bourne must hunt down the killer. The trouble is, he can’t remember what he did last night. Is it a hangover? Or is it something more sinister? Of course it is. Turns out that Max Bourne is a bionically altered FBI agent; in his former life he was the staggeringly uncool, unattractive and unpopular maths nerd Melvin Schneckenhaus (German for ‘Snail shell’) who had a horrific accident and woke up the next morning to find that he had been bionically rebuilt to be the ridiculously cool, attractive and popular Max Bourne!!! Now Max and his trusty assistant and comic relief Lambchop are in a race against time to find the killer and unravel the mystery surrounding Max Bourne himself... only to find that the two are somehow linked, because otherwise it would just be too complicated.

Schrodinger’s Cats

Schrodinger’s Cats (as opposed to Jellicle Cats) are a group of cats used in scientific experiments who, as a result of numerous hormone tests, have developed their own complex society, the ability to speak, and the ability to walk on two legs! But most importantly, they have developed the ability to sing and dance about various things, such as the device on the wall of their box that could release a toxic gas at any point when the nucleus within it decays. Already considered both alive and dead, the cats wonder what to do and sing about wondering what to do, until the patriarch of the Schrodinger’s Cat society, whose name is a clever pun on Old Deuteronomy, decides to send one cat to the outside world, outside of the lab, to plead with the humans to let them out of the box, to realise that they are living creatures and not both alive and dead, and to save all of the cats! The only trouble is, who will they send? Meanwhile, there’s a cat whose name is a clever pun on Macavity, who insists on making life very difficult for all the others...

-          Alternatively; RATS the musical. (as in rats used in experiments)

Ingenious Basterds

So the Nazis did some pretty nasty things. They attempted to exterminate the Jewish people, they invaded half of Europe and they initiated a world war. They also misused the hell out of Science, in an attempt to get to the moon and launch nuclear missiles. So we killed them. All of them, the little shits. We are the Ingenious Bastards, whose calling it is to protect the good name of Science from all evil, and to brutally and stylistically perforate with bullet wounds any mofo who dares use Science in vain. Remember a few years ago, when Prince Harry tried to use the Large hadron Collider, but for some strange reason it didn’t work? That was us. Remember when the Jurassic Quark mysteriously escaped from its confinement? That was us. And remember all those years ago when two miners were trapped in a cage, and a book entitled ‘Quantum Tunneling for Dummies’ fell down and helped them get out? We’ll take the credit for that too. And now we have a new mission. There’s an evil scientist out there who has discovered the secret of Alchemy. Think of all he could do with an eternal supply of gold! We’d better blow that pile of horse shit’s brains out. The trouble is, there’s a twist at the end; the whole of Science is a sham to try to find out how to make gold! But someone needs to use Science for the good of mankind, so it might as well be us, and we’re going to do just that by killing the whole fucking lot of them!!!!


Scott, Alan, Virgil and Penelope are nerds, and not very cool. By contrast their friend Brains, who is a total moron but extremely good looking, is very cool. So one day they decide that if they’re going to be cool, they’ll have to become superheroes, and use maths, physics and rockets to FIGHT CRIME!!!! So they build some massive rockets and soon become said superheroes... the only trouble is, there is a villain waiting. An EVIL villain in a stupid sequined costume with a femme fatale assistant who sexualises everything, but maybe the main villain could be a woman and the femme fatale a man. Envious of the Thundernerds, he or she (or it) steals the blueprints of their spaceships and uses it to wreak havoc upon the world. Now the only thing standing between civilisation and smoking rubble is a handful of guys who’ve never even done it with a girl! We’re screwed, the President of the United States thinks, but the Thundernerds are ready to show that nerds are actually the coolest people of all.
There are currently several ideas for the 2010 title and theme:

Okay guys, we really need to get rolling on this. If we don't have anything by the first writer's meeting it will be spend cracking these out.
As such, I contribute the following - Energy Of The State
Carry on.

Lost in Transcription 
    ~ David

The Mask of Zero
    ~ David
Mammalien vs. Predator


James Bond Vs. Global Warming Series

James Bond: License to Chill
The world is warm enough.

Quantum of Solstice
Fry another day

Sherlock Ohms
(Featuring Dr. Wattson - "Elementary Particles, my dear Wattson")

Throwing this in: The Geo, The Bio and The Chemistry

- Love James

Westerns are a fun format to play with:

A Fistful of Solids (A fistful of dollars)
3:14 to Yuma (3:10 to Yuma... maybe something better for Yuma?)
The good the bad and the uncertainty principle (or something MUCH MUCH better. 'The Good the bad and the ugly')
- a few possibilities to substitute Ugly:
        Unified theory; Uranus; Ultraviolet; Universe; Ultrasound; Umbra; Unit of Measure; USB

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (There has to be something in this)
(Butch Cassidy and the Giant Squid - Nicky)


I came up with these as well:
Pride and Precipitation
Dirty Sexy Monkey
Peter Pancreas

Crouching Geiger, Hidden Boson/Photon/Neutron/Electron/Proton/Meson/Gluon/Muon etc.
Six Degrees of Excitation
Gone in 60 Secants
Fantastic Mr. Flux
Ingenious Basterds
I'd post 'em further down, they probably wouldn't get seen - Nicky

Just posting the ones i remember people mentioning

My big fat Geek Wedding
A Clockwork Origin of species


The Lord of the Strings or the Force in the Springs
- Taking off Lord of the Rings makes sense since the Hobbit film may be coming out in 2010 or 2011. There's a lot of material, so it's quite easy to write for.
The Bourne Approximation or the Bourne Hypothesis
- This is a takeoff of that Matt Damon trilogy. There is a fourth film coming out in 2010, so people will know it. Also, there is an actual Born Approximation, so it's a good link. Again, there's a lot of material, and we can make fun of the whole spy genre, which is cool. 
F(x) Men
- This is one of the rejected titles from 2009. We tried to make it work in writers' meetings, but we didn't get anywhere. Biggest issue is not many non-science people know about function notation, but it could be really good if we made it work.
- One idea we had was the Differentiator, who differentiated people to nothing, and the only heroes who could stop him was e to the x, who was immune to his powers.
- Log(an) instead of Logan.
- These are all Epic Action films, which we've done before. For something different: 
Alchemists' Anonymous
- The whole of Science is a sham to find out how to make Gold. 
You can't call a show 'Chlorophyll'!!!! 
- I have absolutely no idea what to do with this, but certain Biologists were complaining that we haven't named a revue after anything biological.
Love Fractally
- This is one of the rejected titles from 2009. 
- Fractals are mathematical devices that look the same on different scales.  
The Germinator
- Another attempt by the biologists, but we thought in writers it would make a better sketch than theme. We still have the Terminator sketch from 2009 that never got used.
2010: A Space Oddity
- At the moment, an alien egg falls from the sky. Alex told me there's a song by David Bowie called 'Space Oddity', so maybe at some point the egg could hatch into David Bowie.
- I think we could use this in the context of a generic "eclectic group who fly around in a space ship and discover stuff" somewhat Star Trek, somewhat Firefly. Sci-Fi parodies abound.
Schrodinger's list
- So mean. So, so mean! But funny.

π, Robot
- There are 3.1415926535897932384626... rules of robotics for us to create and experiment with. There must be product placement all over the sketches by the way - product placement of our sponsors! Bear in mind the movie covered but one of the many scenarios by Isaac Asimov and we would go with something different to make it less predictable eg. boy meets girl(robot)? Yay aluminium foil!

American π
- Throw a few jokes in about calculating the circumference of the average American?
- This one time at math camp...

Nerds who use math and physics and stuff to FIGHT CRIME!!!!!

Sine City
- A look into the seedy underworld of mathematics.

Angles and Daemon (or Angles and Riemanns, or Angles and Semen, whatever...)
- Hidden messages in the very nature of mathematics/in the first computer.

pH Confidential
A parody of LA Confidential - a film noir exploration of chemistry

Me, Myself & Iodine

A Fistful of Solids (A Fistful of Dollars)
Alchemists in Wonderland
- Or various other titles/ideas- see comments

Some movies coming out in 2010 that we may want to think of titles for:

Alice in Wonderland
The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader (or any other Narnia book)
Harry Potter is coming out (again. So yeah)

Other things happening:

The world cup
Completion of the international space station.

Other titles:
Shrodingers's cats - the musical.
Pavlov Millionare
The seventh sense: the common sense.
The maths wizard of oz
The science of the lambs
Great excitations
The secret life of Brine
Angles and Demons (or Angles and Riemanns, or Angles and Semen, whatever...)
Josh Pearse,
Mar 23, 2010, 2:57 AM
Josh Pearse,
Mar 23, 2010, 2:56 AM
Josh Pearse,
Mar 23, 2010, 2:57 AM
Josh Pearse,
Mar 23, 2010, 2:56 AM
Josh Pearse,
Mar 23, 2010, 2:57 AM