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Nude Sketch - Get Undressed

Premise: Two gentlemen and two ladies are preparing for an opera, in fancy-shmancy clothes. They have some small chit-chat before two hosts walk in. They have some short dialogue, and our four fancy opera-patrons are astonished to discover that the opera they're attending is actually a burlesque of the bare! They are urged by the hosts to not only enjoy the spectacle, but to participate themselves. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

At certain points in the song, the patrons' quick-release clothing is pulled off. 
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OPENING SET-UP
(Man starts on stage. Woman and other couple off stage. NB: these are the 4 people with rip off clothing)
 
Man 1: My dear hurry up, we're going to be late for the show!
Woman 1: It's okay Darling, it's an adaptation of a movie, we know what is going to happen!
Man 1: I know dear, but I don't want to incur the wrath of those ushers
Woman 1: Oh honey they are poor, they can't do anything.
(Man 2 and woman 2 enter)
Woman 1: Oh look Dear, it's the Robinsons! James! Margo!
Man 2: Oh look Margo, it's the Johnsons. I didn't know you two were musical fans!
Man 1: We're not, but who can skip Beauty & the Beast
Woman 2: Bridgette I love your dress btw!
Woman 1: Thanks! The man said it was made from real unicorn! Has the show started?
Man 2: Not yet. Wait, here come the ushers now (enter Sam and Felix) Are you here to check our tickets?
Sam: No. We're actually the entertainment. Ahahaha....(song starts)


Be Our Guest - Beauty and the Beast

Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride
and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a
chair as the dining room proudly presents
your dinner!


Be our guest! Be our guest!
Put our service to the test
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie
And we'll provide the rest
Soup du jour
Hot hors d'oeuvres
Why, we only live to serve
Try the grey stuff
It's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes
They can sing, they can dance
After all, Miss, this is France
And a dinner here is never second best
Go on, unfold your menu
Take a glance and then you'll
Be our guest
Oui, our guest
Be our guest!


Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Get your worries off your chest
Let us say for your entree
We've an array; may we suggest:
Try the bread!
Try the soup!
When the croutons loop de loop
It's a treat for any dinner
Don't belive me? Ask the china
Singing pork! Dancing veal!
What an entertaining meal!
How could anyone be gloomy and depressed?
We'll make you shout "encore!"
And send us out for more
So, be our guest!
Be our guest!
If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest
Be our guest!
Be our guest!


Life is so unnerving
For a servant who's not serving
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon

Ah, those good old days when we were useful...
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Ten years we've been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills!
Most days we just lay around the castle
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!

It's a guest! It's a guest!
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed!
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed
With dessert, she'll want tea
And my dear that's fine with me
While the cups do their soft-shoein'
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing
I'll get warm, piping hot
Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?
Clean it up! We want the company impressed

We've got a lot to do!
Is it one lump or two?
For you, our guest!
She's our guest!
She's our guest!
She's our guest!


Be our guest! Be our guest!
Our command is your request
It's been years since we've had anybody here
And we're obsessed
With your meal, with your ease
Yes, indeed, we aim to please
While the candlelight's still glowing
Let us help you, We'll keep going
Course by course, one by one
'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest
Tonight you'll prop your feet up
But for now, let's eat up
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Please, be our guest!


Get Undressed


Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride
and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a
chair as the dining room proudly presents
your dinner!


W2: Get undressed!
W1: Get undressed!
W2: Pop some buttons show some chest!
W2:There's no need for a tuxedo
or your dowdy evening dress!
Both: Lose those nerves
Show some curves
W1: May I offer you hors d'oeuvres?
W2: To be nude is natural for us
Don't believe me? Ask the chorus!
Both: Dance around! Sing out loud!
Stand up straight and show it proud!
Now it's good to see that you have acquiesced
W2: Go on and take your pants off
W1: Have a naked dance off
Both: Get undressed!
Get undressed!
Get undressed!


Both: Get undressed!
Get undressed!
For it's clothing we detest!
W1: When revealing it's appealing
W2: No concealing! Woman: I protest!
Man: This is rude!
Man: This is crass!
W1: Oh shut up and shake your ass!
W2: You may think he's being shocking
but come on just lose a stocking!
Both: Then your shirt! Then your skirt!
W2: See madam you are a flirt!
W1: So if you are feeling gloomy and depressed
W2: You do not need a drink!
W1: Or an expensive shrink!
Both: Just get undressed!
Get undressed!
W1: Go barechested I suggest
Both: Get undressed!
Get undressed!


W1: Life is just so boring
so to you we are imploring
have a heart and please take part in this sweet scene
Ah those good old days when this was normal...
Suddenly those good old days are gone
W2: When you could stroll naked for a while
without a yell of 'pedophile!'
wearing nothing but a smile upon your face
but we don't mean to beat around the bush
Both: Saggy, soft and squeezy
Being naked's oh so easy!


Both: We're undressed! We're Undressed!
W1: Goodness me! Was that a breast?
W2: In disguise it’s no surprise
that underpants are such a pest
W1: Now I’m nude, all can see
That there’s nothing wrong with me
W2: We don’t need the latest fashion
When our figures are so smashin’!
W1: such a form, so acclaimed
Naked now and unashamed
W2: When you’re bare life seems to have so much more zest
W1: You may call me a sleaze
I just enjoy a breeze!
W2: So we’re undressed!
W1: We’re undressed!
W2: We’re undressed!
W1: We’re undressed!!!



Both: You’re undressed! You’re undressed!
W1: This is how to look your best
W2: Though some others might be forced to disagree if they are pressed
Both: Nothing now to be feared!
W1: Shame most people think we’re weird
W2: But these fellows are so prudish
W1: No acceptance of the nudist
W2: Without Both: dress, shirt or pants
We just love to sing and dance
W1: And now hopefully we can avoid arrest
W2: So now without delay
Take your kit off today!
Both: Get undressed!
Get undressed!
Get undressed!
Please, get undressed!!




ċ
BeOurGuest.mp3
(3513k)
Josh Pearse,
Feb 16, 2010, 3:18 AM
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