EXT- Boy Scout Camp A group of boy scouts sit around a camp fire - In the middle is a grown man in the boy scout uniform SCOUT LEADER: Okay, boys and - uh - Darryl - time for a sing along! DARRYL: Ooh can I go first!? SCOUT LEADER: Okay then Darryl Passes Darryl the guitar CHARLIE: Aw not him! He sucks! DARRYL: You suck! CHARLIE: What are you even doing here, loser? What are you - like 30? DARRYL: At least I don't still crap my pants, Charlie SCOUT LEADER: Boys! Boys! Calm down. Darryl, please, play your song. DARRYL: (Sneering at Charlie) Thank you Scout Master. (Begins playing chords) Ohhh... Charlie's mum's a whore SCOUT LEADER: DARRYL! CHARLIE: HEY! DARRYL: I'm just singing what you're all thinking. SCOUT LEADER: That may be so, but this is neither the time nor place. Darryl, apologise to Charlie. DARRYL: Fine. Charlie - I'm sorry I said your mother was a whore. She is probably quite a sensual discreet lover - like your sister. CHARLIE: Screw you, Darryl! SCOUT LEADER: That's enough! Okay- how about instead we tell ghost stories. CHARLIE: Can I go first? SCOUT LEADER: Fine. Holding a torch underneath his face CHARLIE: Once there was a total loser who had no friends and his only way of getting out of his mother's basement was going on a camp with a bunch of boy scouts one third his age. He died alone. SCOUT LEADER: Charlie.. DARRYL: No - no - that's fine. That's fine. Can I go next? (Takes Torch) One day, a bunch of kids went to a boy scout camp. One of the boys was named Charlie. When he fell asleep a grown man beat the shit out of him. SCOUT LEADER: DARRYL! DARRYL: Based on a true story. SCOUT LEADER: That's it. Both of you go to your tents. DARRYL: He started it! CHARLIE: Bullshit! SCOUT LEADER: I don't care who started it! DARRYL: Aw please - one more chance? I'll be good, I swear. SCOUT LEADER: Okay - fine - but I'm telling this story. Okay, it was a dark and stormy night - CHARLIE: Is this about wolfman!? SCOUT LEADER: Well, listen and find out. It was a dark and stormy night - A boy, not much older than you was wandering through the woods. CHARLIE: And then Wolfman appears!? SCOUT LEADER: Charlie, that's rude. DARRYL: This guy, right? SCOUT LEADER: Okay - so he was wandering through the woods when suddenly CHARLIE: Wolfman jumped out? SCOUT LEADER: God damn it! Yes. Wolfman jumped out, and totally beat the shit out of the kid. The kid's name was Charlie and he totally deserved it. DARRYL: Because he was a hideous bastard SCOUT LEADER: Whose father was an alcoholic DARRYL: And mother never loved him. BOTH: Yeah! They high five. End. |