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The New Recruit

The X-Men are gathered in a room
Xavier rolls into a room with Brian in check

Xavier: And that's why we have cheese sandwiches for lunch - So, that concludes the tour of the facility. Now, without further ado – please welcome the newest member of the X-Men – Brian the Albino!

Brian: Hey guys – Um, not really sure what I'm doing here
Xavier: You're here because you're a mutant!
Brian: I'm sorry?
Xavier: This is our society for mutants! You, as an albino, qualify to be in our society!
Brian: That's – that's horribly offensive.
Xavier: Debatable.  Best introduce you to the group. This is Cyclops.
Brian: Oh, why do they call you cyclops?
Cyclops: I can fire lasers out of my eyes ... like a Cyclops... from Greek mythology
Xavier: Okay, this is Wolverine.
Brian: Ah yes, a man with all the powers of a wolverine.
Wolverine: Actually, I'm a vigilante that dresses up like a Wolverine to fight crime.
Xavier: And this is Storm. She makes Storms.
Storm: I make Storms.
Xavier: Brilliant. Okay, and that's the group.
Wolverine: So, Brian, what's your mutant power?
Brian: I don't have a mutant po-
Storm: I make storms!
Wolverine: Wasn't asking you, Storm. Brian?
Brian:  I – I deliver pizzas
Xavier: Well, your forgetting your albino strength.
Brian: I don't -
Xavier: And your wild albino magic
Brian: That's not even a thing!
Wolverine: You have to have a mutant power! Like, I heal quickly.
Xavier: I can read minds
Storm: I make storms.
Brian: No - yep - I got that. I get it. You make storms. Awesome. I'm just – I'm just Brian. I'm a guy. That's my thing.  I just happen to be an albino. I mean, I can't go out in the sun too long. Is that a power?
Wolverine: Not really
Brian: Then I'm just albino
Xavier: Some kind of big white wizard!
Wolverine: This seems like a bit of a waste of time.
Cyclops: Yeah – you should really screen these powers, Xavier. What possible use could we have for Brian?
Xavier: He's a ghost!
Brian: I'm not a ghost!
Xavier: Oooh did you hear the ghost!
Wolverine: Even if he was a ghost – being a ghost isn't a mutation. Dying isn't a mutation.
Xavier: He's perfectly camouflaged for the Arctic tundra
Wolverine: How often do we battle Magneto in the Arctic Tundra?
Xavier: Not often enough, I say. We need to turn this city into the Arctic Tundra. Then there'll be albinos everywhere! City streets littered with albinos! Every corner you turn, a fresh albino! An albino for every man, woman and child in the world! Even albinos will have albinos! And then we'll all live in peace and bliss! Perfect albino bliss! Oh, Albinos - I love albinos! Albinos albinos albinos albinos albinos! [wheels himself off, while shouting albinos repeatedly]


(Notes: Big white wizard line is comedic peak - could end it there. Also - Having Storm offstage was floated - and it could be really funny because it lowers her status even further - and allows for great interactions)