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The Ministry of Minor Inconveniences

There is a general British feel, at least for W.

Voice over: Meanwhile at the Ministry of Minor Inconveniences…


1: Hi, I’d like to register a minor inconvenience.

W: Sure, what is the nature of your complaint?

1: Well, I was making dinner in my flat when suddenly the fire alarm went off and the entire building burnt down.

W: I’m not sure I can help you, that doesn’t sound particularly minor to me.

1: But I got sauce on my shirt!  It’s ruined now!

W: Ah, right, I see, you’ll want this form, fill it in and we’ll make sure that the person ultimately responsible pays for this.

1: Thanks.


1 leaves. 2 enters.


2: I’d like to register a complaint.

W: Sure, what seems to be the problem?

2: Well, yesterday I complained about getting bin juice on my foot, and you gave me this form. (Presents form).  But the form clearly states that it is not to be used for inconveniences of the pedal kind, it’s for the lower leg only.

W: Oh, I see, and this has inconvenienced you?

2: I’ll say it has, I had to leave my sick mother, travel two hours, back in, by train, not the air conditioned sort, and while I was on my way the hospital rang and told me that my mother had had another heart attack!

W:  I see, well, I’m afraid I really can’t help you.

2:  What?!  Why not?!

W: You see, this isn’t really a minor inconvenience then, is it?  It sounds like a rather major one to me, this just isn’t our jurisdiction, you’ll need to go elsewhere.

2: Wha- I- bu- (fumes) Okay, fine.  I’d like to file a complaint against the Ministry of Minor Incoveniences for being unable to deal with my inconvenience.

W: (Brightly) Ah, now that’s much better! (passes over a form)

2: While we’re at it, can I have the form that I was meant to have picked up yesterday?

To be continued...