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The Inductive Turkey

Person A is fairly calm and rational however sceptical

Person B is somewhat frantic and mildly hysterical

 

P.S. please excuse my punctuation, I’m just trying to make a point (an exclamation point…oh snap)

 

A: Man I’ll be glad when exams are over.

 

B: How do you know exams WILL be over?!

 

A: (looking confused) um. I finish on Wednesday.

 

B: How do you know there will be a Wednesday?!

 

A: sorry? (like an inquisitive sorry not an apologetic sorry)

 

B: How do you even know the sun will rise tomorrow?!!

 

A: Well it rose yesterday and…

 

B: (interjecting) You don’t! Do you?!

 

A: But…

 

B: DO YOU?!

 

(A is looking more confused)

 

B: Let me tell you about the inductive turkey.

 

A: The what?

 

B: The inductive turkey.

            Every day of the turkey’s life, the farmer brings him food. So the inductive turkey believes that every day the farmer WILL bring him food. But then! On Christmas eve the farmer brings an AXE! And kills the turkey!

 

A: um ok?

 

B: You could be the inductive turkey!

We could ALL be the inductive turkey!

Sitting there…all unassuming… then WHAM! Someone has an axe at your neck.

 

(A is looking rather incredulously at this nutter now)

(someone runs on from the side ready to cause the random spontaneous death of person A as soon as he finishes his line)

 

A: That’s ridiculous.

 

(person A suddenly dies)

 

B: (pointing at A) Ha! I told you so!

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