Ending could still use some work but it's better than before. [Scene: Inside a lab. Q, a scientist, and three recruits are in a session.] Recruit 1: A bag of almonds? Q: Aha! That's where you're wrong! Recruit 2: What is it, then? Q: A bag of peanuts! Recruit 2: And how is a bag of peanuts going to help us in the field? Q: Suppose your enemy has an allergy. Recruit 3: Then what? Q: You throw them at him. Job done. Recruit 3: What if he doesn't? Q: Well, then you eat them. They're high in protein. Moving along! Q: What does this look like? Recruit 1: A gun! Q: Yes, it looks like a gun - but who can guess what it really is? Recruit 2: A laser! Recruit 3: A taser! Recruit 1: Another bag of nuts! Q: No, it's just a gun. Occam's Razor, people. Recruit 2: Just a gun? Q: Yes. As Sun Tzu once said, "the best defence is a gun." Recruit 3: That's not what he - Q: Inconsequential! Lastly, we have this! Recruit 1: It's an umbrella. Q: Aha! You're catching on. Recruit 2: It's an umbrella thaaaat... Q: It's an umbrella that keeps you dry. Recruit 3: Can you do anything with it? Q: You can open it. [opens, nearly poking Recruit 3 in the eye] Recruit 3: Watch it! Q: Aha! See? Told you it was dangerous. Recruit 2: You never said it - Q: Humbug! Recruit 3: You're not even a scientist, are you? Q: Of course I am! Recruit 2: No, you're not. You're just a senile old man. Q: Aha! You may think I'm just a senile old man! I'm actually a scientist! Recruit 2: Whatever. We're leaving. We've got better things to do with our time. [feel free to cut the last sentence] Q: Wait! Before you go, take this! Recruit 1: What is it? Q: A kitten! Recruit 1: What's it for? Q: [beat] The loneliness... |
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