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Soup in My Fly

Essentially a big long almost silent sketch with intricate details, but in the end someone gets soupy crotched, and isn't that what everyone wants?  It could be played like this:

Lights up.  It's an Italian restaurant.  There are three little tables, each with a red and white chequed table cloth, perhaps a candle wedged in one of those green bottle thingies.  Let's have some cutlery as well.  One of the tables is further forward and in the middle, the other two are further up the stage, the ones further back both have food.  There is a person sitting at each table, the main one is probably a GUY.  Person ONE is to the back left, person TWO is to the back right.  A WAITER walks in with a bowl with soup in it and places it in front of the GUY.  There is a silent thanks and the WAITER walks off when the GUY looks at the soup and frowns.  He looks up to get the WAITER's attention but he has walked off to give ONE a serviette.  TWO gets his attention and the WAITER gives him a fork.  The GUY looks down at the soup for a moment as the WAITER passes in front of him to start fiddling with a breadstick to give to TWO.  The GUY realises he missed his chance and looks frustrated.  The WAITER fiddles with the breadstick just long enough that the GUY goes back to looking at the soup, whereupon the WAITER walks directly in front of him again and gives the breadstick to TWO.  ONE mimes a peppercracking motion to the WAITER who picks up the peppercracker from down stage right.  Once again the GUY is looking at the soup as the WAITER passes in front of him.  He then facepalms silently at his bad luck while the WAITER cracks the pepper.  TWO accidentally knocks their fork onto the floor at which point the GUY sighs and picks what might be a dead fly out of his soup, he wipes it on his serviette and gets some soup on his spoon and pauses.  Meanwhile the WAITER has rushed over to give the fork back to TWO, after exchanging brief silent pleasantries the WAITER takes a step back, knocking into the GUY, causing him to spill his soup all on his lap.  Beat.  The GUY stands bolt upright.

GUY: (Almost shouty and very clear) Waiter!  There is soup in my fly!

Hard lights down.