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Seven Dwarves


This sketch isn't really going anywhere and it doesn't have an ending, anyone can take a stab at this if they like.

Lights Up. SNOW WHITE is on the stage alone, she is stroking and playing with invisible animals. The song “Hi Ho” can be heard singing in the background. SNOW WHITE panics a bit and scares away the invisible animals. Seven Dwarves enter the stage.


Grumpy: Where's our dinner?!

Snow White: Um... well, here's what I have prepared.

Doc: This is a quite lovely entree, what's the main course?

Snow White: Uh.. this is the main course.

Generic Outrage

Snow White: Well, I would make something more, but there just isn't any money, you spend all day working in the mine with all those jems, where does all that money go?

Pause, looks of realisation

Happy: I'm sure it's around here somewhere, let's just have a good look!

Sleepy: But I'm sooo tired from lack of food, I might pass out.

Grumpy: I bet he takes it (Points at Dopey), it's to fuel your demented pot lust, isn't it?!

Dopey: Wha- Dude, chillax. Wow, did you notice that your eyes are mirrors? I can see my nose!

Grumpy knocks him over backwards.

Doc: Let's look at this rationally, there are eight of us here, the money is somewhere else, this can best be represented with a Venn Diagram. (Pulls out diagram, it shows two separate circles) This circle here is us, this other circle is the money, we have two mutually exclusive environments. If we then integrate the derivative and compute the difference you will find that -

Grumpy: Do you actually know where the money is?

Doc: ...no.

Grumpy: I say you took it! With all your science and your book learnin's-

Bashful: Well, uh... Grumpy, you do seem to be very aggressive about all of this... not that I'm accusing your or anything, it's just... well, where were you last night?

Grumpy: It's none of your business, I'm a big man, I can do whatever I want, I wasn't doing anything unsavory, at all, how dare you accuse me?!

Happy: Woah, woah, woah, calm down dude, inside voices! (Shhhh!) Look on the bright side, we have our health!

Grumpy: Not for much longer!

Sneezy: (Sneezes violently) In the court of law that could be construed as a threat, do you wish to proceed with such a statement?

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