Show Archive‎ > ‎2010‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎

Oscar the Grouch

(Oscar the Grouch is visible on stage)
E: Ah…it’s such a beautiful day on Sesame Street.
(Beat. Looks around)
But where is everyone?
O: Hello?
(Elmo continues to look around)
O: Hello?!
E: Oh hey Oscar! Isn’t it a beautiful, sunny day on Sesame Street.
O: No. Quite frankly I don’t think it is.
E: What, but the sun is shining so high! Wait, did Oscar make a funny? Haha that’s funny Oscar, you’re so funny!
O: Stop laughing
E: What’s wrong Oscar?
O: I don’t know Elmo, I guess living amongst the garbage isn’t as great as it’s hyped up to be.
E: But you live on Sesame Street , the best street in the world!
O: Yeah it’s a great street I guess, if you have a house on it
E: But who needs a house when you have great friends like us?!
O: Sure, I’ve got you and Cookie Monster. But do you keep the rain off? Do you insulate?
E: You know Oscar, maybe this is why everyone calls you the Grouch…
O: Well maybe, wait what? They what? You guys call me that?
E: Mmmhmm
O: But I’m not a grouch, I’m just genuinely sad. I mean you try and be happy when your life involves living in a trash can
E: But we all chipped in and bought you that can for your birthday.
O: Well yeah it’s great, but it doesn’t have walls, or a warm bed, or curtains. I’d kill for some curtains.
E: You know Oscar, maybe if you appreciated your friends a bit more we might ask you inside…
O: Appreciate you? How about you appreciate me? I mean I live in a trash can!
E: You know you’re kinda hung up on that Oscar…be careful, you don’t want to let that define you…
O: I’ll define you in a minute! (tries to get out of can but can’t)
E: I’m gonna go and play with Big Bird, he knows how to be optimistic. Have a great day Oscar!
(Elmo leaves. Oscar starts crying when Joshua Radin begins playing..)

(Script Notes: Steen suggested that there should be a longer more drawn out angry Oscar phase  - And at the end while crying Oscar should rub himself with Garbage. It sounds odd - but it'd be hilarious.)