Show Archive‎ > ‎2010‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎

Introduction

Two Voiceovers, A and B;
 
A: So what did you want me to do exactly?

B: well, we'd like you to welcome the audience to the 2009 Sydney University Science Revue.
 
A: the what revue?
 
B: Science revue.
 
A: ... that sounds really boring.
 
B: No, it's not. Honest! It's a sketch show, like comedy, you know, put on by Scientists?
 
A: Right. So pick the group of people famed for having absolutely no sense of humour whatsoever, and give them their own sketch show.  
 
B: We just need you to introduce it.
 
A: Alright, so you want me to say something like "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome..."
 
B: That's it.
 
A: "... to the 2009 UNSW-"
 
B: No, Sydney University.
 
A: What?
 
B: It's not UNSW, it's Sydney Uni. 
 
A: Oh, god, I can't stand those people! And they're scientists. What a wonderful way to spend an evening. So, "... Sydney University Science Revue." Is that it?
 
B: Well, you should probably ask people to turn off their mobile phones.
 
A: Really? Why? Because you don't want people laughing at other people's girly ringtones?
 
B: Well, yeah, but also because it can interrupt the show. And also because they can interfere with sound and lighting equipment.
 
A: Really? I did not know that. I should probably turn my phone off then, wouldn't want this mike turning on at the wrong moment.
 
B: No.
 
A: Anything else?
 
B: Well, make mention of the fact that the exits are up the back in case of emergency.
 
A: Emergency?
 
B: Like a fire or something.
 
A: Whoa. Is the show that bad?
 
B: No, of course not!
 
A: So, just a contingency plan in case it flops then. Excellent. That's all?
 
B: That's all. You good to go?
 
A: Yeah, no worries. Where do you turn this mike on?
 
B: There's a little button on the side, just there.
 
A: Okay, cool. Three, Two, One, and go.
 
Silence.
 
NB: Lines should be delivered as ordinary speech.
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