Hipsters: inspired by a recent trip to Melbourne. Dedicated to the girl outside Manning who chose to wear a beret on top of a hoodie. Note this sketch is really timing dependent. I don't know how exactly timing should go, so I've just put in pauses where I thought they might go. Feel free to ignore/change/add/remove them. Also, the order of the bragging segments might need to be changed. Alex: I have a tattoo, you know. All: [sounds of impression. Mmmmms, ooooooohs, respectful nods] Beth: I have a tribal tattoo. Alex: From where? Beth: ...China. Alex: Mine’s from Mongolia. Edward: Mine’s from Ecuador. Little K: Word. All: [impressed] Alex: I got my tattoo from a Masonic elder. Edward: Where is it? Alex: I can’t show it to you. It’s a secret. Outsiders aren’t allowed to see them. Beth: Really? Alex: Yeah. Really. Little K: Exclusive. All: [impressed] Edward: Yeah, well, my body is a tattoo. Beth: What? Edward: I got my skin removed and a tattoo of the human body grafted over it. I’m a living work of art. Alex: But isn’t that – Edward: Yeah. [pause] Alex: My tattoo was directed by Tim Burton Beth: My tattoo was directed by Wes Anderson. Edward: My tattoo was directed by Wes Anderson and produced by Andy Warhol. Little K: Troll. [said the same way as “word” and “exclusive”] [pause] Beth: My tattoo’s vintage. Edward: My tattoo’s ironic. Alex: Mine’s a metaphor Edward: My tattoo’s 3D. Beth: Mine’s 4D. Edward: What does that even look like? Beth: Awesome! Alex: My tattoo was the first ever. Beth: Mine was before that. Edward: My tattoo was before time itself. Alex: My tattoo is time itself! Ending 1: Edward: I killed a man. [split second of silence] Alex: What? Edward: I killed the man who made my tattoo. Beth: W-w-why would you – Edward: It’s now the first and last one he ever made. One of a kind. [silence] Little K: Fresh. [silence] [lights down] Ending 2: Little K: I killed a man. [silence] [lights down] |
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