The Arrow of Time – By Jack

Interviewer: Good evening, everyone. This week, we continue with our ‘Medical Freakshow’ segment. Last week as you remember we showed you a man whose mouth was lower than his face, and a woman who only eats pieces of Lego. This week, we present here to you a man who has been described not only as a medical impossibility, but also a man who violates the laws of physics on an almost daily basis. Steven Ford lives a very difficult life, for he may well be the only man alive in the world for whom the Arrow of Time runs backwards. Please welcome onto the show, Steven Ford.

Steven angrily stomps into the room and sits down.

I: Good to have you with us, Steven.

S: I’m not going to stand for this either! I’m leaving! (He stays there though)

I: ... um... So Steven, what’s it like living with the disability of having your Arrow of Time run backwards?

S: Well fuck you too!

I: Now, come on Steven, I think the audience would like to know how you deal with your disorder.

S: Excuse me? I didn’t come on this show to be insulted!

I: Well, neither did I, actually. Do you just want to answer the question, Steven?

S: Sorry? No need to get rude, mate.

I: I’m not getting rude!

S: I thought I just did!

I: Yes, you did! For Christs’ sake! Are you an idiot or something?

S: Well, as I said, it’s a case of planning your day properly and having a good supportive family!

I: You make no bloody sense, you fuckwit!!!

S: It’s not easy, but it comes down to planning your day properly and having a good supportive family.

I: You are screwed up! I am not going to stand for this!

S: Great to be here!

I: Oh, piss off. (Angrily stomps out of the room).

S: So I think what I’m going to say is; the biggest problem with having my Arrow of Time run backwards is that I start at the end of a conversation and finish at the beginning, and that can be a little confusing at times.