This is a sketch for the usual 'turn off your mobile phones' annoucement. Lights are down completely and numerous actors are planted amongst the audience. Sound of phone ringing. A1: (very loudly, on the phone): Hey, what's up? .... Yeah, I'm good how about you? ... No, no - I'm at the Science Revue .... Yeah, it's great, I've got this fantastic heckle ready to go - something classic like 'Your Mum'. .... yeah, I dunno why they haven't started yet ... A2: Hey, SSSSSSSSSSSHHHH! Can you be quiet please? A1: Hold on, wait, there's someone talking really loudly. I know, it's so rude! A2: Hey, shut up! A1: What - are you talking to me? A2: You're such a douche! Be quiet! A1: Sorry, I can't hear you, there's this guy yelling at me. A3: BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!! A2: Hey, no need to get aggressive. (Another phone rings) A4: Hello? Yeah great, how about you? A3: Oh, serious?? Oh, hold on. (phone rings) A5: Hey, I heard you were at the Science Revue? A3: Yeah, I am - you too?! Hey, stand up so I can see you - I'm waving! A5: Is that you? I dunno, it's really dark... (more and more people join in answering phones and talking about random things. The audience will most probably start heckling at this point) A6: I wish I'd bought some more jaffas. A2: Twelve freakng dinosaurs! I said, don't you know how much they eat? A1: Maybe Your Face would be funnier. What do you think? ect. ect. (a loud phone ring on the voiceover to override everyone else) V1: Hello? V2: Listen, I just wanted to tell you you that you should turn your phone off when you're watching a show. V1: Oh no, it's fine, they haven't had that mobile phone announcement yet. V2: OK, but when they do, make sure you switch it right off, ok? V1: OK. V2: Oh, and before I hang up... V1: ...yeah? A1: Your face's mum! Hehehe... Erm, lights down. More than before. Or perhaps up. |