[Scene: A is on a ladder. B walks in]

A: Heya

B: Hey... why are you on a ladder?

A: Oh, you noticed?

B: Yeah.

A: I’m testing a theory.

B: Yeah?

A: Well, you know gravity?

B: I’ve heard of it, yes.

A: Well, gravity becomes stronger the closer you are to the earth’s core.

B: So... ?

A: So, the higher up you are, the weaker gravity is.

B: You realise how tiny the difference in gravity is between down here and up there?

A: Sorry, I can’t hear you all the way up here. The air’s thinner, you know?

B: What?

A: The weaker gravity means there’s less oxygen in the air, so your sound becomes thinner.

B: Is that why you’re up there?

A: Yeah. Low-oxygen training. Top athletes train on top of mountains to get used to low oxygen, so that when they come back down to normal levels, they’ve got over-oxygenated athletic supermuscles.

B: There’s no way sitting on top of a ladder is gonna make you more athletic. What sport are you even training for up there?

A: Chess.

[pause]

A: You’re an idiot.