Show Archive‎ > ‎2010‎ > ‎Raw Ideas‎ > ‎


Setting: some formal situation (eg a political meeting of the UN) where there is a speaker addressing a large group of people. A UN banner on the podium or some such.
Speaker: "The world we live in is full of political and cultural unrest. Everyone knows that the world would be a better place without blacks..."
Someone in the crowd (dressed in explicitly ethnic attire, eg something like that Osama gear Chas wore to APEC) stands up and shouts "You're racist!"
*At this stage the crowd starts to murmer a bit*
Speaker: "No, you didn't let me finish. I was going to say "a better place without blackspots" you know, areas of political conflict, wars, danger zones, that sort of thing. You actually thought that the leader of the UN would suggest getting rid of all the blacks? I mean, come on, this is the United Nations....Anyway, to get back on task now, the main point I guess I'm trying to establish here, is that the UN would be a far stronger organisation without the softer sex..."
Someone in the crowd (with an exaggeratedly female appearence eg padded out boobs and butt, wearing a mini skirt and long voluminous hair) stands up and shouts "You're sexist!"
*The crowd starts to get a bit rowdy*
Speaker: "Again, you didn't let me finish. I was going to say "without the softer sections of our policy", you know, like the untidy parts of it, you know, those parts lacking definite guidelines, that sort of thing? Now, everyone just settle down; and for God's sake, let me finish! Now, to the implementation of these above mentioned changes. I would like to suggest that the most favourable way to go about this, would be to ban all fat people from any involvement in government or similar influential positions."
Someone, shyly: "Pardon?"
Speaker: "I said we should ban all fat people from governement."
A really exaggeratedly fat person (padded with pillows, quilts, etc) stands up and in an absolutely appalled tone yells "You're fattist!"
Speaker, calmly: "No, you're the fattest!"

And Scene.