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Voice-over List


Please post all voice-overs here, it saves them getting lost, and means that we can keep better track of the voice-overs that we have.



Voiceover 1: Back in 1900...
 
Voiceover 2: We need a Federal Government to do the job!
 
Voiceover 1: Now, in 2009...
 
Voiceover 3: We need a Federal Government that does its job.
 
Voiceover 1: Australia. Haven't we come far?

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Voice-over: After years of careful deliberation and calculations science has finally revealed the world's funniest joke (Pause) Psychology.
Alt: Psych!

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Voice-over: At the discovery that the Tasmanian devils' facial tumour is caused by inbreeding, an emergency action plan was devised for all Tasmanian residents.

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Rigor Mortis: Erect for atleast 15 minutes...
Rigor Mortis: A Hard act to follow...

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Rejected titles:
Shrodingers list
Shrodingers's cats - the musical.
Pavlov Millionare
The force in the springs.
The seventh sense: the common sense.
 
Science Revue 2010: The Born Approximation.
Science Revue 2010: You can't call a show "Chlorophyll"!!!! 
Science Revue 2010: The Lord of the Strings

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"Gallipoli was definitive proof that no matter how lost they are men will never stop and ask for directions"

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Everything is melting these days:
-The icecaps
-The economy
-Michael Jackson's face

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The ABC, after the tragic loss of the Bananas in Pyjamas to global warming and a rather nice fruit salad are pleased to announce their next great hit:
-Roaches in broaches
-Pigs in wigs
-Penguins in bikinis

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In breaking news: In a bizarre twist of fate, Kevin 747 was today brutally crashed by the A32 affectionately dubbed Malcom.

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"So this is the audience trying to egg us on?"
"They wouldn't know a good yolk if they were staring into the whites of its eyes."
"Yup. They shell be hard to crack."
"Could be going for the cheep shots."
"Or maybe we've been crowning too much..."
"Yup...the bantam ain't working?"
"We could keep at this til the cows come home"
"Oh deer."

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"I liked it!"
"So what? You also liked World War II"

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The socialist alternative: saving water by not showering since 1917

Hippies: saving water by showering together since 1969

Kevin Rudd: saving water by showering overseas since 2007

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There were three in the bed and the little one said roll over, roll over, so they all rolled over and one fell pregnant

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"The first probe just landed in uranus!"
"Don't you mean on?"
"...No"

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"The first probe just landed in uranus!" "don't you mean on?" "...no"

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Just gotta go...de-porto!

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Trains:
Choo Choo!
(slow but getting faster)Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug
(faster)-a-Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug
(even faster)-a-Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug
(even faster still) -a-Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a
CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
designed by engineers

i think this would work better with a slide show running next to it with just the words (new slide for each new line) and the way its delivered can be rearranged.

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A catch-phrase for new-age spirituality: I can't believe it's not Buddha

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294Uue - Ununexpectium, the element of surprise.

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In a very deep and sensual manner
Fat, hideous, trash, unacceptable, are you really going to eat that? Those shoes don't go with anything.  The culmination of you entire life until now has been pointless.

Critique, a new fragrance by Victoria Beckham

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Voice over 1: Your hygiene is absolutely appalling.
Voice over 2: Huh?
Voice over 1: Disgraceful.  There are pond-dwelling, bottom feeding, lifeforms with better hygiene regimes than you.
Voice over 2: But...
Voice over 1: But nothing, you are an embarrassment.  You bring shame on us, you bring shame on yourself.  Nothing short of a sulfuric acid steambath could make you even remotely presentable.
Voice over 2: But...
Voice over 1: But what??
Voice over 2: I'm a pile of manure.

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Voiceover 1: So, you were saying that you're turned on by women clapping?
Voiceover 2: Yeah.
Voiceover 1: What about women cheering?
Voiceover 2: Eww, gross.
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V/O: It's an old aboriginal belief that every time you have your photo taken, you lose part of your soul.
(A photo of Angelina Jolie or some other celebrity pops up on the screen).
So true. So, so true.

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Opening voice-over: (Apologies for substandard french)
V/O: Madame, Mademoiselle, Monsieur, bon soit. Je suis les captain. Il est le vol numer quatre quatre sette. Nous ari Paris ce soir. J'abite a croissant grande, je n'aime pas Francais. Oui. Soup du jour, bagette, Marie Antoinette, Gerard Depardieu. [Clears throat and continues seamlessly in slightly accented English].
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard Air France Flight 447 from Rio de Janeiro to Paris, we expect our clearance for take-off in just a few minutes. May I please remind all passengers to switch off their mobile phones and other electronic devices, as they can interfere with navigational and flight control equipment. The weather forecast is clear, with the possibility of some storm formation over the mid-Atlantic ocean. In the event of turbulence, please return to your seat, fasten your seatbelt, and watch the wings very very carefully - we cannot fly without them. Please be assured that the lights going out is not a sign of total electrical failure, but disappearing without a trace probably is. Ha ha... Please sit back, relax, and enjoy the inflight entertainment, SCIENCE REVUE 2009: JURASSIC QUARK!

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[this is my 'Here's...' that was published in mX, Jack thought it would make a good voiceover]
"To the girl on the 6:08 from Chatswood, your disgusted looks in my direction did nothing to sate my desire. Coffee - and maybe more?"

[they didn't publish this one (bastards), but it might work here?]
"To the girl with the eyes, the hair, and the face. As I sat behind you breathing heavily, I realised that perhaps it was meant to be. However, as I leant forward to strike up a conversation you left quite hastily. Coffee - and maybe more?"

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[The general idea is 'Historic moments as told by Twitter', these are just the first ones I could think of. How we convey Twitter in a voice-over I'm not sure]
'Bomb pretty sweet, victory in Pacific???' - HarrySTruman
'I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: t' - MLKJr
 
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Dear Dolly Doctor, I am attracted to women. Does that make me a lesbian? Yours sincerely, Daryl.
 
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This week on A Current Affair, a look at the life of Michael Jackson's children; what life is like without A Current Affair reporters continually asking about what life is like without Michael Jackson.
 
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Are you good at making excuses? Are you very good at making excuses? Then come and work at Cityrail!

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"You know the moon landing was faked?"
"Really? Where was it actually filmed?"
"Mars."

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For long lasting action: Low G.I. Joe

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Voice over 1: Milk went up 10 cents!  I can't believe it, it's the worst thing since sliced bread!
Voice over 2: But, isn't sliced bread good?
Voice over 1: No, it went up 5 cents last week!

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"What do you say when you arrive in the Kingdom of the Erl King?"
"Take me to your lieder!"
 
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There now follows token subliminal messages on behalf of the Alternative to the Socialist Alternative. Abolish Capitalism. Think for yourself! Vote Democrat! And always remember to follow the teachings of Groucho Marx! 

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This needs a few pictures up on the projector, and is basically a flow chart.
"Do you blame him, or why one should live in Europe."
http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200806/r259165_1075796.jpg
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/07/01/2291318.htm
<Picture of Kate Neill>

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