Show Archive‎ > ‎2009‎ > ‎Theme‎ > ‎Spare Themes‎ > ‎

Jurassic Quark Opening idea

(on the screen)
Dinosaurs on the earth.

VO: Sixty-five million years ago, the dinosaurs were the first beings on planet Earth to use science.

A meteor streaks down to the earth and hits it
.

VO: It didn't end well.

Rest of opening credits.

Fade out, start fading up the lights on stage as this occurs.

VO: Sixty-five million years later, man has begun to use science too. Will he make the same mistakes?

lights are now up to reveal a big machine with a lever, which is labelled "Turning this on would be a mistake". Two scientists (Malcolm and Ann) are behind the lever, others are standing around. There is a containment chamber on a juliet balcony.

Malcolm: I think this might be a mistake.

Ann: I respectfully disagree. (pulls the lever, 'activation' sound)

Malcolm: You know that if that thing gets out, it could very well destroy the universe as we know it.

Ann: Yes, but thats why we have the... the... the...

Kerry: Anti-quarkical barriers!

Malcolm: The wire cage. Right.

Ann: Look, we've spent billions of dollars on this project and are about to solve the worldwide energy crisis!  I'm sick of your negative attitude.

Kerry: Yes, just think of everything we could do with a quark this powerful.

Ann: Build a machine of perpetual motion.

Kerry: Get rid of famine forever.

Ann: Cure cancer.

Kerry: Kill God.

Malcolm: (sarchasm ++) Build a theme park?

Awkward pause

Kerry: So now what?

Angela: We've now made a quasi-quark - that's a half-quark, semi-quark or demi-quark... it really depends on your reference point. Now, if I pull this lever back, we will instantly create a wormhole to the black hole in the centre of the universe, and pour all of its energy into the quasi-half-semi-demi-quark, making a super-quark that was the cause of the creation of the universe itself!

Kerry: So you pull that lever and out pops a Nobel prize?

Malcolm: But as I keep trying to tell you, a quark with that much energy will be impossible to contain!

Third Scientist: Even with chicken wire?

Malcolm: Yes! And it will have the power to destroy the known universe!

General hub-bub of scientists in shock, "do you want to destroy the universe?" "I don't want to destroy the universe" "We really shouldn't destroy the universe" "Think of the children!"  Scientists flock over to the other side of lab, on Malcolm's side.

Song. (Chelsea Dagger)
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