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Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

M: Part originally sung by Mary, a scientist trying to sell their miracle compound
R: random member of public who is skeptical
G: gramps. member of public who reveals their white hair which is hidden under a hat.
B: Bort, assistant to M. Originally Burt, I gave most of his lyrics back to M


We'd start with some kind of scene that closely parodies the original scene (when Mary wins first prize at the races in the chalk drawing.) Bunch of members of the public ask "Mary" questions about their new "miracle compound" that causes them to burst into song. As you do.

R: There probably aren’t words to describe your emotions!
M: Now now now gentlemen please, On the contrary there is a very good word, am I right Bert?
B: Tell em what it is
M: right

Its……Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Even though the sound of it
Is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough
You'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay

Because I was afraid to speak
When I was just a lad
My father gave me nose a tweak
And told me I was bad
But then one day I learned a word
That saved me aching nose
The biggest word I ever heard
And this is how it goes:

Oh, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Even though the sound of it
Is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough
You'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay


He travelled all around the world
and everywhere he went
He’d use his word and all would say
there goes a clever gent
When dukes or maharajas
Pass the time of day with me
I say my special word
and then they ask me out to tea

Oh! supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Even though the sound of it
Is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough
You'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay

M: You know you can say it backwards which is docious-ally-expee-istic-fragi-cali- whoopus, but thats going a bit too far dont you think?

B: Indubitably

So when the cat has got your tongue
There's no need for dismay
Just summon up this word
And then you've got a lot to say
But better use it carefully
Or it may change your life

For example

yes

One night I said it to me girl
And now me girl's my wife!

And a lovely thing she is too

She's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (whispered)
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Mary (a Scientist), Bert (her assistant) standing centre stage, with assorted Guests.

M: That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Here is the future right here, in this flask. My assistant Bert and I have been testing the properties of our remarkable discovery, and we have found that this chemical has so many wonderful applications! It can cure diseases, provide cheap alternative fuel and kills all sorts of bacteria.
B: There's a question here.
M: Yes?
Guest 1: (Into Bert's microphone) Is it alcoholic?
M: It's great with lime and soda.
Guest 1: I'm sold.
M:Thankyou. I am offering each and every one of you a chance to assist in the marketing and production of this remarkable new chemical.
Guest 2: What's it called?
M: Hydrofluorochloroethylbromobenzylnitrate.
Guest 2: ... right. Not exactly catchy, is it?
M: Just wait until you see my marketing campaign. Are you ready Bert?
B: Ready when you are.
M: Good! One, two, three...


M: Its…Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate
Density of four point three
It’s not what you’d call lightweight
Difficult to filter
And impossible to titrate
Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate!

Backup singers: Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay

M: Was working in my lab last week
and all my tests had failed
I peered over my flask to check
and with sharp breath inhaled
And soon I found that my compound
Had made my rash dissolve
The trials gave results profound
No problem it can't solve!

M+B: it's Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethryl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate!
Even though the smell of it
Will make you rather irate
If you heat it up enough
You’ll substitute a phosphate
Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate!


Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay 

B: We travelled all around the world
And everywhere we went
We’d pull out our compound and say:
This stuff is cash well spent
M: When doctors or professors
Raise their hands to question me
I demonstrate its uses
Then they pay my monster fee!

Chorus:
Oh! Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate!
It will emit purple light
When dropping to the ground state
Use it as a catalyst
or use it as a substrate!
Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate!

Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay

M: You know technically it would be 1-fluro-2-chloro-ethyl-3 bromo-5 nitro benzene but that’s a little obsessive don’t you think?

B: Indubitably
So even if results are due
There's no need for dismay
Just mix on up this stuff
And then you've got a great display
M: But use low concentration
Or it may overexcite

Guest: For example

M: yes

G: It could destroy the ozone layer and let in UV light!

All look up uncertainly, then...
*beat*
All: Nah!
It's Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate!
Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate
Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate (whispered)
Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate!
Ć
mary_poppins_supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.mp3
(1934k)
Josh Pearse,
May 19, 2009, 5:50 PM
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