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The Eagle

NEIL ARMSTRONG and BUZZ ALDRIN are sitting in the lunar module on the moon.
NEIL: And The Eagle has landed.
BUZZ: Neil?
NEIL: Yeah Buzz?
BUZZ: Why do they call it the Eagle?
NEIL: Well, I suppose because the Eagle is a symbol of America - it's strong - it can see far …
BUZZ: Oh, so it's not actually an Eagle.
NEIL: No… it's not.
BUZZ: Okay.
NEIL: ...You thought we were inside a giant eagle?
BUZZ: I didn't say giant.
NEIL: It's not an Eagle. It's the lunar module - it's just called The Eagle.

BUZZ:
Okay. And we're not actually on the moon. It's just called that.
NEIL: ...No, this is really the moon.
BUZZ: What!?
NEIL: We are actually on the moon.
BUZZ: That's so cool! I'm gonna go walk around.
NEIL: Wait, no. I get to go out first.
BUZZ: Why?
NEIL: Because I'm the leader.
BUZZ: That's not fair.
NEIL: Is too.
HOUSTON comes in over the intercom.
HOUSTON: Uh, Neil?
NEIL: Yes, Houston?
HOUSTON: Why aren't you leaving the module?
BUZZ: Why should he get to go out first?
HOUSTON: He's the leader.
NEIL: I'm the leader.
BUZZ: That's bullshit! I could do a much better job.
HOUSTON: Hey! Listen to what we say or we'll do to you what we did to John Glenn!
BUZZ: Who's John Glenn?
HOUSTON: Exactly.
NEIL: Anyway - this is an important moment. The person who goes out there should have something meaningful to say, a phrase that summarises this achievement.
BUZZ: I could do that!
NEIL: What would you say?
BUZZ: (clears throat) "Suck it, Russians!"
NEIL: Hmm, no I don't think so.
BUZZ: Oh yeah? What are you going to say then?
NEIL: I'd say "This step is an example of freedom, the kind of freedom that drives the world and America to be in a... freedom... channel with the freeness and the smartness and the achievements made in the moon - earth relationship which is what we were aiming to do and what we did do so we did well."
HOUSTON: Okay Neil, you're out.
NEIL: What!? No, I can do better - I have other phrases! How about "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
BUZZ: ...What does that even mean?
NEIL: It means like... we made it to the moon... and... a midget couldn't do that. It takes big steps.
BUZZ: …Houston, please let me go out first!
HOUSTON: I'm certainly considering it.
NEIL: What!? Why should you get to go out instead of me?
BUZZ: I have lots of useful skills. I can actually moonwalk.
HOUSTON: Uh guys, the Russians just set foot on the moon.
NEIL: Crap! Look what you did!
BUZZ: ... Houston, what did they say on the first step?
HOUSTON: They said... "Suck it, America."

Lights down.
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