Show Archive‎ > ‎2009‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎

Physics Police

(siren)

VO: Stop! Physics Police!

Hear a 'thump' as superman falls down, lights up to also reveal Magneto stuck to a fridge and assorted other superheroes

Wonder Woman: What happened?

Police: You're all being arrested for breaking the Laws of Physics!

Wonder Woman: What laws?

Harry Potter comes flying in on a broomstick, and then falls down halfway through

Police: Those laws. We have a warrant for your arrest!

The Flash runs in really fast, then slows down like walking on coals

Flash: Ah! Hot! Hot!

Police: And him too. (sigh) We told him the friction would get to him...

Magneto tries to lift his head off the fridge

Magneto: I am Magne... (head bangs back against fridge, tries again) I am Magnet... (head bangs against fridge again)

Police: (leading heroes offstage) You have the right to remain grounded. Anything you attract can and will be used against you in a Large Hadron Collider...

Batman runs in just as superman is being dragged off. Superman stares.

Batman: (mocking voice) 'Batman obeys Physics, he doesn't have superpowers!' Look who's laughing now, bitches!
Comments