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Physics Police

(two scientists working over apparatus that looks vaguely scientific.)

1: Yes!! We've done it!

2: Entropy!

1: We reversed it!

(a POLICEMAN bursts in.)

P: Stop! This is the Physics Police! You're under arrest for breaking the laws of thermodynamics!

2: You're a copper?

P: No, I'm mostly carbon. Can I see your sciencing licenses, please?

(1 and 2 look at each other, then produce cards.)

P: Uh-huh. (checks) Well, these seem to be in order. (writing a ticket) Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. You two are going to regret this one in the morning.

1: There's really such a thing as the Physics Police?

P: Of course. Why do you think they're called “laws”? Do you think the law of gravity just works? We tried the honour system once, you know. It worked for a while, then people start breaking the light speed limit on empty roads and reversing the polarity to solve everything when they think nobody's looking, and suddenly David Blaine is levitating and the shit is hitting the fan!

2: So what's going to happen to us now?

P: Well, let's see... (counting charges on the ticket) Breaking the laws of thermodynamics, that'll get you in hot water... a possible charge of behaviour in breach of the Schrodinger Act, I'll have to look into that...

1: Hang on, though. The last person to break the laws of physics was named 'Einstein', and they gave him the Nobel Prize for it!

P: Well, we have to consider these things on a case-by-case basis, you know? It's all relative.

2: Oh, come on! You guys never arrest for anything! I broke conservation of energy like twenty times last week!

1: Everyone does! It's like jaywalking!

P: All right, all right, look... I might be able to let you off with a warning, if nothing like this happens again –

(A third scientist rushes in.)

3: Guys! Guys! I just broke the light barrier!

(crashing noise, hard lights)