Show Archive‎ > ‎2009‎ > ‎Raw Ideas‎ > ‎

Choose your own sketch

Basic premise is that the audience makes choices in a scene that affects the outcome.

Ideas for mechanisms for choosing (because as scientists, I feel we should be accurate about this) could include:
Using a device to capture and measure how loud teh audience cheers for each choice (with on-screen feedback)
Giving each member of the audience two coloured cards, each representing a choice. A camera records what they hold up and measures the amount of each colour in the audience, and therefore which choice to make.

So the sketch itself would have to demonstrate each choice and its effects.

If anyone has seen hypotheticals (it was a show quite a while back), I'm thinking of that sort of feel to the sketch.


Attempt the First.
Lights up. There is some sort of shop set up, the only vital things are one banana and a jar of pickles. Bob enters.

Bob: Hmmm, choices, choices, the banana, truly the phallic fruit, or the suspiciously phallic psuedovegetable, the pickle?


Question: Banana or Pickles?


Choice: Banana

Bob pays for the banana and leaves the store. He peels the banana and starts to eat. Crazed Scientist rushes on stage.

CS: Wait! Don't eat that banana! We need it to save the world!

Bob: Huh?

CS: That's the last remaining banana on earth! We need it to stop the zombie apocalypse!

Bob: -the hell?

CS: We need to clone the banana to make more of them, or else there will be a world deficit in potassium, and everyone knows what happens when there isn't enough potassium to go around-

Bob: (Sarcastic) Crap, zombies, that's right.

CS: So, what do you say, will you sacrifice your banana for the good of humanity?


Question: to help or not to help?


Choice: No.

B: Yeah, nah, mate. I'd really rather finish my banana, but, you have fun with that, okay?

CS: Fair enough, no one's going to force you, it's not like it's the end of humanity or anything, oh wait, it is. (Overly cheery:) Would you like some apocalypse tea? It's mostly LSD. (Produces a tea cup and teapot from the obligatory labcoat)

Bob: All right. (Sips tea. There is a pause.)

CS: I have to tell you, I did make it up.

Bob: You almost had me for a minute there, you know, but zombies are so cliché-

CS: It's not actually LSD, it's arsenic.

Lights down as Bob collapses.


Choice: Okay.

CS: You will?! Oh thank you! (shakes Bob with joy, for an extended period, Bob drops the banana, but CS doesn't notice for a few seconds. He sees the banana when he steps back from shaking him) When did that get there?!

Bob: Dunno, a couple of seconds ago?

CS: More than three?

Bob: I guess, what does it matter? It's not like anyone's going to eat it.

CS: Everything is subject to the three second rule, that includes DNA! You've doomed humanity, you klutz.

Bob: But, I- you were shaking me!

CS:

(TBC)


Choice: Pickles.

Crazed Scientist rushes on stage.

CS: Wait! Stop right there! Those pickles have doomed the world!

Bob: Huh?

CS: They were in the very object keeping the Earth balanced with the Sun, and you moved them!

Bob: -the hell?

CS: You've doomed everyone, you fool, there is no longer anything stopping the Earth from plumeting into the Sun, we may only have minutes!

Bob: Oh snap.

CS: But, there may be a way! What do you say, do you think you'd like to save everything you've ever given half a damn about?

B: Well... I'd really like to just go home and hoe into these (Points at pickles) Ummm...


Question: to help or not to help?


Choice: No.

CS: Fair enough, no one's going to force you, it's not like it's the end of the world or anything, oh wait, it is. Would you like some apocalypse tea? It's mostly LSD. (Produces a tea cup and teapot from the obligatory labcoat)

Bob: All right. (Sips tea. There is a pause.)

CS: I have to tell you, I did make that up.

Bob: You almost had me for a minute there, you know-

CS: It's not actually LSD, it's arsenic.

Lights down as Bob collapses.


Choice: Okay.

Bob: Okay, fine, I guess I can do this, just so long as it doesn't take to long. What's the plan?

(TBC)




Random Notes:


Setup:

Lia and Tia are going shopping. They must choose whether they are going to buy pickles or bananas

Pickles:
Scientist runs in saying "Oh no! Earth unbalanced spiral sun into DETH. Come with to give sketch a plot?"
Yes:

No:
Boring sketch. Tea or coffee? 5... 4... 3... 2... I'm gay... BOOM!

Bananas:
No, don't eat that banana!  We need it to clone more bananas, or there would be a shortage of bananas.  There would be a worldwide K+ deficiency, and you know what happens when there's a deficiency of you know what happens.
*Pause*
Zombies!!!11!11!!one1!
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