Female singer enters. Big band intro from "Hey Big Spender" starts playing. Singer pulls out a white rolled up joint, lights it.
F: (singing) "The minute I lit up my joint, I could taste it was a plant of distinction, a real mind bender."
(Moves across the stage in "musical theatre" style choreography, every so often taking a drag, becoming gradually more fun to watch)
F: "Good smellin', dry'n refined, (singing to joint) wouldn't you like to try messin' up my mind?
So when you light up, my joint, ya know I'd pop my cork for every guy I see..."
(Chorus / 1st musical climax)
F: "Hey, Mind Bender! Bend.... my mind for me..."
(during this she does a large arching arm movement, accidently flinging the joint to the side, off stage. She looks upset and bewildered for a moment until a person dressed up as a giant joint (perhaps wrapped in a sheet or paper?) walks out, they begin dancing in sync/musical theatre style to the bridge)
F: "(singing to now giant joint) Wouldn't you like to have fun, fun, fun? How's about a few, (sung while desperately but unsuccessfully trying not to laugh) laughs, laughs, laughs? I could show you a good time (stifles a snort, then puts on a serious face), Let me show you a (loses serious face, stifling another laugh) good time!"
(collapses into laughter)
(calms down enough to keep singing)
F: "The minute you're lit up, my joint, I can taste that you're a plant of distinction, a real mind bender!"
(music gets louder, several people come out from the wings, marching band style sporting cymbols, drums, trumpets etc and dressed as various types of bongs, various pot related drug paraphernalia. Perhaps one wearing a boogie board bag? Some people waving giant marijuana leaves, reminiscent of palm fronds, made of cardboard/other material. All moving in time with the music, like a big band/marching band, perhaps choreographed with the singer and giant joint)
F: "Good smellin'! Dry'n refined... wouldn't you like to try messin up my mind? So when you light up, my joint, ya know I'd pop my cork for every guy I see... Hey mind bender! Hey mind bender! HEY, mind bender! Bend, my mind for me..."
Music ends just as with the original. Lights down, all cast leave except singer, lights up, ENDING A: she is seen waking up off the floor with joint in her hand, cackles evilly, Lights down. Or ENDING B: a cleaner shuffles on stage, sweeping the floor, walks up to her passed out/asleep on the ground with joint in hand. Nudges her with broom, she doesn't move, he takes the joint and walks off, sweeping. Lights down.
Rehashed Version Original
(Verse) (Verse)
The minute I lit up my joint The minute you walked in the joint
I could taste it was a plant of distinction I could see you were a man of distinction
A real mind bender A real big spender
Good tastin', dry'n refined Good lookin', so refined
Wouldn't you like to try messin up my mind? Wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in my mind?
So when you light up, my joint So let me get back to the point
You know I'd pop my cork for every guy I see... I don't pop my cork for every guy I see...
Hey mind bender! Bend my mind for me... Hey big spender! Spend some time with me...
(Bridge) (Bridge)
Wouldn't you like to have fun, fun, fun? Wouldn't you like to have fun, fun, fun?
How's about a few laughs, laughs, laughs? How's about a few laughs, laughs, laughs?
I could show you a good time I could show you a good time
Let me show you a good time I could show you a good time
Rpt Verse, "Hey mind bender" repeated x 3 then to end, as with original
Any ideas welcome, please check with Julia Goodwin (julia.goodwin@hotmail.com) before changing anything, or just add it below so that we can keep the original.
Cheers,
Julia Goodwin
To hear the version I'm thinking of download the Shirley Bassey recording, a live version can be heard on youtube (link below) but it's not quite as clean as the recording.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0MZXWKEkIE&feature=related (skip ahead to about 1 min)
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