Show Archive‎ > ‎2008‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎

Wankers in Suits

VOICEOVER: Partying with the commence revue

Small boom box is on a table on the stage in the dark, as are 4 clean shaven, "sharp" looking male wankers in suits (one asian. all with short hair preferred, especially spiky).  The men are thoroughly wankered and have beers in their hands.  Three are sitting on a couch, MARK is dancing to music, collar up, tie in hands.  The MUSIC STARTS mid-song (by 50 cent) (from the boombox, not the PA?), LIGHTS COME UP, and we join them mid sentence.

DAVY So I said they'd be better off declaring regulation 502C and take the up front, rather than complying with 402 like they always had!

General thigh slapping

MARK swinging his tie around his head as he drunkenly gyrates Man I love 50 cent.

ADAM Aww, let's go old-skool. [gets up and fiddles with stereo] Listen to this!

Nikki Webster starts playing.  ALL start dancing semi-enthusiastically

LUKE Man, you know what we should do?

ALL         What?

LUKE We.. should float the revue and list it on the stock exchange!

ADAM Oh man, that'd be awesome!

[More dancing]

MARK Hey have you guys seen Nikki Webster recently?  She's gotten hot!

DAVY Heh heh heh - she leverages my portfolio.

LUKE I'd Section 315 her

ADAM I'd investigate her like the ATO

DAVY I'd inspect her returns

LUKE Oh man, I'd play FTSE with NIKKEI's NASDAQ and go have ASX

ALL         Dude! during laughter

MARK I'd lick her arsecrack and stick my dick in her ear

MARK is interrupted and drowned out halfway through: ADAM looks at his watch and starts to yell...


LUKE runs and picks up party hats and party whistles concealed behind couch, while...

ADAM, LUKE, DAVY Nine! Eight!

LUKE distributes party hats & whistles

ALL         Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One!


ALL jump around.  LUKE again rushes behind the house, and starts handing tax-packs to all

LUKE Here's your taxpacks. [hands to two others] Taxpack [hands to last]

ALL sit down and keenly start filling in taxpacks as LIGHTS GO DOWN.

Please talk to Felix Lawrence before editing.