Show Archive‎ > ‎2008‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎

Red Button

A red button is centre stage. 1 is standing, staring at it. 2 comes in and mirrors him.
1: Don't touch the red button.
2: What?
1: Don't touch the red button! Step away from the button, sir! (2 does) Further. That's a bit too far. Left a bit. Right fit closer to the left. That'll have to do.
2: Hang on!
1: Don't touch-
2: Okay, i get it! Why?
1: Why? What do you mean, why? Oh, i see. You're one of those people who walks around, pressing every single button you see! You're headed for a fall, or at the very least a one hundred dollar fine. You don't just press buttons, young man! Anything might happen!
2: That's why you press it, to find out?
1: Oh, an expert on buttons, now, are you?
2: No...
1: Well, I am! And i'm here to tell you, anything could happen! It might... blow up the world!
2: It might not.
1: That's beside the point! (fake slaps him)
2: Ow! That almost hit me!
1: Next time i shall make contact! Keep away!
2: Fine.
Long, uncomfortable silence staring at the button. 2 twitches, obviously wanting to press it.
2: Why did it have to be red?
1: What?
2: Why red? Green i could handle, maybe yellow, but red?
1: What about red?
2: It's red! like a fire engine!
1: Go round pressing fire engines now, do you?
2: I just don't see what the harm is! Why would it be there if you weren't meant to press it?
1: That's not my department. I'm supposed to stop people from pressing it.
2: Oh please, what harm could it do?
1: I'm not about to risk my life finding out!
2: Please let me press it, please!
1: No!
2: Just a little bit?
1: No!
2: Could i... half press it?!
1: NO!
2: Fine! (points) Hey, look! Someone pressing a button!
1: Where?
2: ha-ha! Sucker.
He presses the button, and the lights go out. Silence.
2: Holy shit.
1: Oh, my god. Are we dead?
2: I don't think so. I think... i'm still talking to you. The world hasn't blown up.
1: Well, what's happened, then?
2: I think... i turned off the revue.
1: ... ... i told you so!