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A Large cloaked man is standing onstage holding a Large stick with a broken bottle on the end. Two other hooded figures are holding a blindfolded pledge. There is a table with a jar labled wasabi, a box labled “rat's balls” and a paddle.

Cloakie: So my young pledge. You have almost proved yourself worthy. You have conqured the flaming pubic hair, survived the extreme jaggardness of the staff of probing, and sucessfully performed a striptease for Kevin Rudd. Now, before you may join we must clense your body (points to jar of wasabi) your mind (points to box labled rat's balls) and your soul (points to paddles.)

(the cloaked men bring the pledge forward to the table)

Cloakie: the cleansing of the body!

(Cloakie hits gong/triangle)

(pledge is forced to snort wasabi)

Cloakie: the cleansing of the mind!

(cloakie hit's gong/triangle)

(pledge is force fead rat's balls)

Cloakie: the cleansing of the soul!

(the cloaked men force the pledge to bend over)

(cloaked figures with paddles proceed to approach from the upstage right exit paddle pledge and exit upstage left. Several people cycle so that the paddling continues for a long time)

Pledge: Ow! Hey! That's not where my soul is! This is worse than the probing of the jaggard staff!

(cloakie strokes staff lovingly)

(cloakie removes the pledge's blindfold)

Cloakie: congratulations, you have been purified. Welcome to the golden key/young liberals

(whatever's funnier)