Show Archive‎ > ‎2008‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎

In The Nude

STAGE LIGHTS UP to reveal a man sitting on a chair with a newspaper (Clothes ON). Beside him is a BIG RED BUTTON with nothing written on it. He glances across to it, shakes his head and returns to his paper. Ten seconds later, he repeats this. After another ten seconds, he puts the paper down and glares at the button. He glances upwards, and asks:

GUY: What’s the worst you can throw at me?

He glances around surreptitiously, before tentatively trying to push the button. When nothing happens, he slams his fist down hard, and out emerges the (naked) CHORUS LINE, who cover in front of him…


I used to love my clothing loved my sashes and Bide.
I used to wear my clothing with such joy and such pride.
Until one day was a walking and this guy said to me
The clothing doesn’t suit, you’d look much better to me
If you’d ditch the skirt and suit and bein’ a prude
M’darling you’d look so much better in the nude

In the nude (Chorus: Oh yes somehow he’s got me)
Somehow he got me
In the nude (The wind is)
I’m feeling breezy
In the nude (The winter weather’s kinda freezy)
It’s kinda freezy
But it doesn’t really matter coz we’re in the nude now

CHORUS LINE runs off stage, leaving GUY sitting on his chair with only his PAPER to cover his modesty. He shrugs, stands up and folds his paper. As he walks off, he pauses and turns back to the button…

GUY: (Shrugs) What can one more hit do?

HITS BUTTON, nothing happens. Pauses, and turns around…

GUY: Hang on, where are my….

LIGHTS GO DOWN, there is a WHISTLING and then the sound of a PIANO CRASH…
Caitie Bop: after talking it over with (Caitlin)Fish, we're still debating the ending... Suggestions???