Show Archive‎ > ‎2008‎ > ‎Scripts‎ > ‎


Lights up on lecture theatre, Bob and Ted are in conversation, other students are milling around and as the conversation continues the other students start to get interested before everyone joins in.

B: So, how did your study session with Felicity go?

T: Great! We made great progress with chemistry

B: Ahhh... you titrated her solution!

T: No, we were in the library, not the lab!

B: So, you opened her book?

T: Yes, it was quite a heavy book, it was a maths book

B: Oh, you square rooted?

T: We did calculus, lots of stuff.

B: ..... Did anything else happen?

T: We went to the movies afterward...

B: Oh, did you pop her corn?

T: Yes, we did have popcorn, it was slightly salty.

awkward pause

T: We saw some trailers too.

B: So you shook her trailer? Pause What movie did you see?

T: Pride and Prejudice

B: You Darcy'ed her Elizabeth?

Mary: Ohh, good one... crumpet the strumpet?

4th: Mash her potato?

5th: Format her hard drive?

6th: Plough her field

7th: subject her predicate?

8th: Munch her carpet?


T: (confused) Excuse Me?

Lecturer: Class, class, we need to settle this. Did. You. Have. Sex. With. Her?