| Doctor seated at desk
Enter patient Doctor: Come in, sit down. Now what seems to be the problem, sir? Patient: Well, doctor, this is embarrassing for me but, I think I may have gonorrhoea. Doctor: Whoa! Ok! That’s disgusting! Patient: Whoa! Ok! Aren’t you a doctor? Doctor: Yes! But….that’s just filthy! What have you been doing? Patient: I had sex, obviously. Doctor: Awww! That’s awful! Patient: Look, if you can just give me some a prescription I’ll be on my way…. Doctor turns away
Doctor: I don’t even want to look at you! Patient: You don’t have to look at me, you could just write it down on a….. Doctor: (covering ears/hiding under chair) La, la, la! I can’t hear you! La, la, la! Patient: Excuse me…Doctor…(/tapping on chair) excuse me!
Doctor: Nurse....Nurse! Enter nurse
Nurse: Yes, Doctor? Doctor: Is he still there? Nurse: Yes…. Doctor: Well could you just deal with him, please? Nurse: Very well, Doctor. (to patient) If you’ll just come this way and tell me what you have.... Patient: Well, I was just saying that I think I have gonorrhoea. Nurse: Whoa! Ok! That’s disgusting! Don’t touch me! Patient: What the hell kind of hospital is this! Voiceover: The NSW health system, getting better already! Lights Down Written by Matthew Stewart -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Alternative lines:
Performed:
Nurse: Gonorrhoeah, and what's that?
Alternative ending:
Voiceover: The NSW health system; a lot to do but we're heading in the right direction.
N.B.: a number of alternative characterisations for the nurse have been suggested. |
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