ALICE IN REASONABLE LAND Alice: Hatter, the frabjous day is tomorrow! I'm still very worried about facing the Jabberwocky. Since then I’ve retrieved the vorpal blade, tamed the bandersnatch, and become just the right size, and now I’m ready to face my destiny in a final battle against the Red Queen. Hatter: Oh no, Alice, I forgot to tell you, it’s not happening. Frabjous day is cancelled. A: What? H: Yes, we had a conversation with the Red Queen, concerning the state of the nation and settled a treaty. Alice: But she’s evil! She’s using pigs as footstools, flamingos as mallet, hedgehogs as balls for croque, frogs as people, monkeys as seats..! A: Guillotined people. A: Living cards! H: The cards are guillotined in their production, that’s how you get them Alice, you slice paper up. Cutting them again only makes more cards. It’s reproduction. A: Okay, she tried to cut my head off. A: We need to slay the Jabberwocky! A: She slew your entire village! A: But I need to fulfill my destiny! H: Alice, I’m clinically insane, malnourished, have PTSD and dying of mercury poisoning - but even I can see the fact that anyone would want to wage a war an endanger the lives of thousands of people, wipe out an entire species or even one person, rather than even attempt negotiation is ridiculous, maybe in your world it’s sane, but here it’s NOT. A: But I want to kill things! H: NO! A: ERRG. That’s it, I’m waking up. This, is the worst L.S.D. trip, ever. ALTERNATIVE ENDING: H: If you wanted to wage war and slice the head off a dragon over a giant chess board, you should have taken more [LSD]. Infact, as a 12 year old you should be greatful you even have LSD. I worked all my life to support my family who were wiped by a mythical creature your mind invented. The red queen doesn’t even come close to being as evil and twisted as you are, Alice. A: I’m sorry. H: You should be.
Eating objects to change size Being late Painting roses red REFERENCES: http://www.shmoop.com/alice-in-wonderland-looking-glass/summary.html |