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Video Sketches Master Doc


Running order:


  1. Credits

  2. Vomit/Dance

  3. Drinking (short)

  4. Sketchception part one


  1. Darth Maul & Qui Gon

  2. Go son go!

  3. Documentaries (long)

  4. Sketchception part two (long)


Video sketch scripts:

SKETCH ONE: Credits:

[To be rewritten]

SKETCH TWO: Vomit/Dance Sketch:


An eerie, buzzing noise pervades the opening, a warbling modulation of sound; opens on an empty doorway of a bathroom like the one under the Eastern Avenue lecture theatre. A man staggers into the bathroom from outside, stumbles his way to the sinks and leans on them bodily. Close up on his bloodshot eyes. There’s very little reason left in them; he’s barely conscious. He tries to splash water on his face, but he can’t operate the tap. Another man exits the stalls behind him and enters into frame across the mirror.

OTHER MAN: Hey, uh – are you ... alright?

FIRST MAN doesn’t reply. Close up in his eyes as he loses control completely. The buzzing noise intensifies gradually. He turns, and the camera swivels as well into a cut:

EXTERIOR of Eastern Avenue, as the OTHER MAN is running out of frame away from the lecture theatre. The FIRST MAN is following him in a shambling walk, but ceases after the OTHER MAN leaves. The FIRST MAN stops. He starts twitching ... and begins a rhythm. The buzzing noise becomes clearer ... and resolves itself into THE VENGA BUS IS COMING (or possibly THE KETCHUP SONG).

LONG TRACKING SHOT moving away from the FIRST MAN as he dances towards the camera in a shambles down Eastern Ave. A group of BACKUP DANCERS APPEAR.

LEAD DANCER: Hey guys, it's Dave! Leader of the dance club – and he's got a kooky new dance to share!

They DANCE ENERGETICALLY, with huge grins, while he shuffles and spasms, clearly not mimicing him at all.

Then the FIRST MAN vomits and falls over. The BACKUP DANCERS watch. Then they vomit in sync and fall over too.

Title cards fade in slowly.


TITLE CARD: You get sick and dance until you die.

TITLE CARD: What a hoot!



Opens on two people drinking out of mugs; it appears to be coffee, and they are content. One turns to the other.

A: Is there any more of this?

B: [looking crestfallen] No ...

Reaction shot of A, looking in askance.

Slow zoom on B.

B: There’s ... there’s nothing left ...

B puts their hand to their mouth.

Reaction shot of A.

A single tear rolls down B’s face. It’s followed by another.

Reaction shot of A.

B is now sobbing in earnest. A raises the mug to B’s eyes. Tears flow into the mug.

CUT TO LATER: A is drinking happily out of the mug and B is red-eyed, but content and companionable.

A: Thanks again.

B: No problem. Can ... can I have some?

A: [starts tearing up, as B raises a cup to his eyes]


SKETCH FOUR: Sketchception part one:

Black screen.

VOICE: Why do we laugh?

The picture goes up at the end of the last word, and it is obvious who has spoken. Two people are sat at a cafe table on the lowest floor of Manning. The tables around them are populated by extras, out of focus. There is an out of focus pie on one of the tables. One of the two people is speaking very intently in the manner of Dom Cobb from Inception, leaning forward. The other is behaving as if they’ve just realised they’re there, and sort of Ariadne-ish (so an audience-proxy).

A: Is that a – rhetorical question?

B: [continuing] Humour is unreal. It is immeasurable. You can’t quantify it, or point to it. We laugh at many things – the misfortune of others, the wrongness, or hidden information – water concealed in a rose, a ladder with a paint bucket out of view – because it isn’t real yet. The moment it becomes real, the moment the wrongness is brought to light ... it’s no longer funny. If you can deconstruct the joke, it dies.

A: [realising what he’s saying] You’re talking about ...

B: [quietly, intently] Sketchception.

A: Jesus. I thought it wasn’t real.

B: It isn’t. Not exactly. Nevertheless it is true. We enter sketches, as actors, and explore the unreality of humour from the inside. We’ve always done it. But now we have a way of doing it with foreknowledge. We can change humour simply by thinking about it.

A: I see. So what happens when a sketch ends?

B: The writer is the creator of the sketch. They must see it to the end. If it’s well written, it’ll end exactly when they choose. We can plan the way we move around it with ease. In a poorly written sketch, the tenuous nature of reality wavers, and the writers start gagging, hoping to find a punchline. It’s dangerous. And it’s happening right now.

A: What? What are you saying – but we’re not in a –

B: Tell me how you arrived at this table.

In the background one of the blurred extras visibly plants the pie in the face of another extra, while in the foreground A’s face is confused, disbelieving. Then she realises.

A: I can’t ... holy shit.

B: [doing his Mr Charles, speaking-to-a-child-voice] Remain calm. You’re in a sketch. It’s not very funny. The sketch will end in a moment.

A: Who are all these people?

B: They're extras. They're not real people. They'll disappear when the sketch ends.

A: Wait, I’m not ready. I can influence this reality, as an actor? This could be awesome. Here, watch:

She focuses on an empty area of the courtyard. The camera cuts to a view of her perspective. In to the frame rolls a dog on a skateboard. Cuts back to original shot, but all the extras are looking at her. She’s laughing happily.

B: [quietly, urgently] You can’t do this, Alice. It’s too obvious, it’s an easy joke. The extras will know you’re an actor.

A: So what?

She focuses intently on another area. In from out of frame rolls two dogs on two skateboards.

A: [laughing] This is the best!

CUT BACK; all the extras are standing up and staring at her.

B: Stop, Alice. You’re doing the same gag over and over again. They’ll find you and kill you! Extras are the most volatile divas in comedy. They think they should be the actors!

A: Well, they’re not real, are they? So it doesn’t matter.

She focuses. A dog on a skateboard rolls in, but this time it’s wearing a sweater!

A: Aaaw, it’s got a sweater!

A hand grabs her, and the camera cuts to her perspective. It swivels around, and an EXTRA is holding a knife over her.

EXTRA: You’re ruining my career! [knife flashes down, and the camera is tackled bodily]

B: Quick! Think, Alice! The most boring day of your life. You waited by a mailbox but there was no mail, so you brushed the dog, and then you read The Shipping News, and it was a bit shit, and so you couldn’t think of what to do so you just ate Jatz from the packet without cheese –

They both fall asleep. The camera pans to the blue sky, ringed by extras. BLACKOUT.

B: It's Blake. We've had a situation.

CUT to the background of the second last sketch of the eventual running order. A jolts, as if jolting awake. B is talking on a mobile phone.

B: We had to go deeper, ahead of time. Get everyone in the game. I mean everyone. We do this now. [hangs up]

A: [slowly] What happened?

B: The extras were about to kill you. I took us down a level in the sketchscape. We’re safe for now ... but we have a job to do.

A: So what if I died? I’d just wake up, right?

B: No. If you die in the sketch, you die in real life.

A: What? I thought this was just a parody of Inception! I don’t want to die in here!

B walks away, putting on sunglasses.

B: This isn’t just a parody. This is an extended homage.




SKETCH FIVE: Darth Maul and Qui Gon:

Opens late on the fight scene between the titular characters in the reactor chamber, with Duel of the Fates in full swing (effects and location provided by our animator friends). Suddenly, DARTH MAUL finds an opening, and is about to stab QUI GON fatally. He swings, and his lightsaber goes out.

Shot of QUI GON whirling his lightsaber back to guard. He looks alert, but confused.

MAUL is looking with anger at his LIGHTSABER. He taps it fruitlessly. Then he looks at QUI GON. Alternating close-ups of their eyes; QUI GON is again, wary and watchful. MAUL'S eyes grow furtive and confused, and dart around. He holds the LIGHTSABER awkwardly, and fumbles with a pad on the hilt. It pops open to reveal AA BATTERIES. Midshot showing the back of QUI GON and the front of MAUL as MAUL fumbles around, slowly and clumsily removing the BATTERIES from the pack and replacing them with another pair from his robes. This is excruciatingly slow. He tries the LIGHTSABER, and it doesn’t go on. He looks even more awkward, and reopens the LIGHTSABER and removes a BATTERY, slow and clumsy and fumbly as ever. Close up on the positive and negative on the BATTERY being reversed and placed into the saber. Then he turns it on, and it springs back to life. They whirl to guard, and it sputters out again.

MAUL slowly presses it against his forehead and knocks it once or twice. Then looks at QUI GON in supplication. QUI GON nods slowly.

CUT TO: Obviously a shitty kitchenette with cheap fluorescent lighting from around the uni. They stand, awkwardly relaxing against the counter, as the lightsaber is recharging from a wall socket via a cable. MAUL coughs.

MAUL: Thanks for –

QUI GON: Don’t make this weird.


SKETCH SIX: Go son, go!:

Rugby game, people cheering on sidelines. One player has broken through the defensive line and is running with the ball.

MAN on sideline next to try line: Go Son! Go Son, go!

PLAYER [stops suddenly]: Son?!? But that means ... [eyes widen and a grand look of realisation appears on his face] DADDY!

Slow-motion shot of player running towards MAN.


Everyone on the sidelines is gesturing frantically for him to run towards the try line.

PLAYER reaches MAN and cradles him, music softens.

PLAYER: Dad, I knew you would come back! It's been 18 years but I never stopped believing! I'm going to win this game for you. Dad! And then you'll be proud of me and we can be happy again! [PLAYER runs back onto the pitch. MAN is left looking terribly confused]

OTHER PLAYER [shoves player, music stops abruptly] : Why'd you do that? That was an easy try!

PLAYER: You don't understand, my dad called me son from the sidelines!

OTHER PLAYER: You idiot! You're not the only one, look! [points to MAN]

PLAYER observes MAN yelling "go son" to another boy running with the ball. He looks sad for a second.

PLAYER: But that means... [his eyes wise widen and a grand look of realisation appears on his face, same music as before starts playing but louder] I HAVE A BROTHER!

SLOW MOTION SHOT, PLAYER running towards boy and slow-motion yelling "BROTHER!", tears streaming down his face.


SKETCH SEVEN: Documentaries:

Opens on a PRESENTER walking towards the camera while a cheesy guitar riff plays (essentially the opening of Where Dem Bees At?). He is in a warehouse, as if the backlot of hollywood (we can use the warehouse in the Holme Building for this).

PRESENTER: Oh hello, good evening, and welcome to another episode of LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!, the reality television show where we ask our contestants to film the impossible.

QUICK CUT to black-and-white footage of various obviously filmable things, while the show's title runs along the bottom, saying 'SEASON 7'; two or three clips for a four or five seconds at max; one is a clip of some birds, one is a road sign [upside down footage], one is a clip of some friends chatting – one of the friends makes the gesture for WANKING and all the others laugh, obviously forced.


PRESENTER: I'm your host, the Host. Today our contestants have a real doozy on their hands! [reaches out of frame and pulls in a confused man] Eugene and [same again, but a woman] Kelly are going to be filming the behind the scenes footage of our very own show! We're going to see our contestants watch how television is made out of them watching how television is made out of them! Zowie!

CLOSE UP on the PRESENTER'S HANDS, into which pops a camera with an audible DING. CUT BACK, as he places it in the hands of a still-confused EUGENE. EUGENE, bewildered, raises the camera to his eye and points it at the camera currently rolling, while the PRESENTER grins and gives the thumbs up.

CUT TO perspective of Eugene's camera. We can see the cameramen and engineer holding the boom mic. The PRESENTER dashes in and spreads his hands as if to say, 'Awesome, right?!'

  PRESENTER: How does a taste of power feel, Eugene?

  EUGENE: Uh -

PRESENTER: [Exclaiming] Roller! Coaster! And while this is going on, we have a wild-card guerilla team of contestants who are trying to one-up you. [He points, and the perspective swings to follow it, where a third team is filming.]

QUICK CUT TO the perspective of the THIRD TEAM. Both the ORIGINAL CAMERA CREW and the FIRST CONTESTANTS are visible, aimed toward the perspective. The PRESENTER is not immediately visible, but then steps in to the frame (obviously breaking some physical laws).

PRESENTER: What a rush! 

EUGENE: (in background) How did you...?

PRESENTER: Right here we have the setup for the best episode of LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION! Yet.

CUT TO the perspective of the ORIGINAL CAMERA CREW.

KELLY: Uh, Mr. Host, sir, can you fill me in again on what we're supposed to be doing?

PRESENTER [stepping into frame and facing the camera]: Of course!

CUT TO the perspective of EUGENE'S CAMERA. The PRESENTER is now facing this way, and slowly walks towards the camera.

PRESENTER: You're filming the filming of your filming the filming and you're filming while being filmed by some people filming the filming you're filming and if they win they'll do all the filming. Is that clear?

CUT TO the perspective of the THIRD CAMERA CREW. KELLY and EUGENE have nosebleeds.

KELLY: [weakly] Crystal.

PRESENTER [turning to face the camera]: You caught all that? Great drama! Ten points, and you're in the lead!

CUT AGAIN to the FIRST CAMERA CREW. The PRESENTER now has a guitar, and is shredding a wicked solo. Shot lasts barely several seconds.

CUT AGAIN to EUGENE'S CAMERA. The PRESENTER no longer has a guitar. The ORIGINAL CREW have nosebleeds, and the BOOM MIC ENGINEER has collapsed.

PRESENTER: Wuh-oh! Looks like we've slipped a murderer into the mix. One of the contestants will try to kill you all – and if you film your own murder, you'll get a bonus prize! The best part is that – [looks up]

CUT TO A NEW PERSPECTIVE looking down on all the people.

PRESENTER: It's all caught by our hidden camera! [laughs maniacally as someone stabs KELLY behind him]

A QUICK ZOOM on the PRESENTER leads into a whirling miasma of shots, people being murdered, the PRESENTER jamming on guitar, people filming people filming and the PRESENTER saying 'filming you're filming your filming you're filming your filming'.

QUICK CUT to an EXTERIOR, where the PRESENTER is locking a bulky padlock on a door.

PRESENTER: Sorted. [He turns to the camera and walks towards it. Horrible sounds are muted by the door.] I am an agent of chaos. [He stares at the camera]

CUT TO a shot of the PRESENTER running madly down a street, while the theme music plays and the title runs along the bottom.


SKETCH EIGHT: Sketchception part two:

n.b. Wherever possible, jumpcuts to new scenes begin slightly in medias res, to mimic the way Inception is shot, for that dreamlike quality.


BLAKE'S VOICE: We waited too long.

QUICK FLASHES. Shots from the opening sketch. Eyes opening. Overexposed trees and leaves in sunlight. What is going on? FADE TO BLACK.

BLAKE'S VOICE: We need to go back. Find an ending. So we can be young together.

OPENS ON BLAKE AND ALICE RUNNING. MUSIC is MOMBASA from the Inception Soundtrack. Behind them are a band of EXTRAS chasing them. CUTS to an INTERIOR SHOT of BLAKE and ALICE already piling through a doorway into the room, and the EXTRAS are cut off from entering. The room is revealed to be the WAREHOUSE from the DOCUMENTARIES SKETCH, though before the sketch has started. It is full of FIVE DIFFERENT ACTORS, however. Together, these are BLAKE'S SEVEN.

MARK: [with a broad Scottish accent] Blake! What's going on?

BLAKE: I made a mistake. We had to go deeper before we were ready.

SLOW TRACKING SHOT from the centre of the actors, spinning around as each speaks.

YOUNG: This is nuts, Blake. The extras are riled, they know we're here. We need to get out of here!

MARK: I have to agree with Young, Blake. It's too dangerous.

BLAKE: We can do this. We stick to the plan. Despite her naivety, Alice is a natural at manipulating sketches. She's genuinely funny. And her distinguishing trait is very strong. She'll carry this off.

Alice: My what?

LIONEL: Your distinguishing trait. It's what we use to tell if we're in a sketch or not. In fiction, people can be simplified into behaving in one certain way, but in reality that would be utter nonsense. For example, I'm the guy who explains stuff all the time.

BRADLEY: I agree with whatever he's saying.

LIONEL: Young is the classic 'terrified-by-anything' guy.

YOUNG runs through the shot behind the actors, freaking out and waving his arms.

XIANG [ignoring YOUNG]: I look foreign, but simple-minded audiences aren't weirded out because I don't have an accent.

MARK: [Scottishly] And I, of course, have syphilis.

ALICE: What's mine?

BLAKE: You're the audience-surrogate. You just accept what I explain to you.

ALICE: [nodding] Okay.

LIONEL: Oh, wow. She is good.

BRADLEY: Yeah, totally.

ALICE'S VOICE: So how do we do we go deeper?

LIONEL: It's quite simple. All we do is tell a really boring story. It puts you in the mind of a sketch before the drop, and you fall right to sleep.

XIANG: Like, this one time I waited half an hour for the bus but then I realised I was at the wrong stop and I didn't even have my bus ticket anyway so -

Pans down to YOUNG, who has passed out on the floor.

MARK: Shite. He's gone.

CUT TO YOUNG, standing on the rugby field from GO SON, GO! He screams, and is tackled bodily by a rugby player.

CUT BACK to the others, who are standing in a semicircle.

BLAKE: Goddamnit! We have to go get him. And fast.

BRADLEY: For sure!

MARK: … alright. We have no choice.

BLAKE: Bradley, you do the honours.

BRADLEY: Uh, okay. Um. Oh, uh: Have you guys seen The Matrix Reloaded? Because -

As one, they all fall asleep. The PRESENTER from the DOCUMENTARIES sketch leans his head in from the side of the frame, as it cuts to:

GO SON, GO!'s rugby pitch, swarming with players. In a sequence of shots, BLAKE'S SEVEN, MINUS BRADLEY extract themselves from the team, and get the rugby players away from YOUNG, who is being BEATEN. They begin running down the pitch, as the entire team chases them.


MARK: [growing enthusiastic, as he runs] Alright! I got my syphilis by sleeping -


XIANG: I once lost a USB stick but there was nothing on it except old Uni assignments and and pirated comic books -

They all fall over minus XIANG, and appear:

JUST OUTSIDE THE BREAK ROOM where QUI GON and DARTH MAUL are talking companionably. BLAKE'S SEVEN, NOW MINUS XIANG are pressed against the wall, trying not to be overheard.

QUI GON: I'm actually a pretty chill guy when I'm not, you know, trying to stop you guys from taking over the galaxy.

MAUL: Oh, totally, totally. Me too. It's a just a job, really.

[BLAKE mouths at YOUNG to tell a story]

QUI GON: I can dig that.

MAUL: Yeah, I mean, from my point of view, the Jedi are evil.

QUI GON gives a DA FUQ? face as YOUNG starts to whisper.

YOUNG: My favourite episode of the Simpsons is -

A LIGHTSABER EMERGES from the doorway to the breakroom.




Again, they all fall asleep minus YOUNG.

They appear behind BLAKE AND ALICE from the first half of SKETCHCEPTION. (No idea how we'll do this shot). They haven't been noticed yet.

BLAKE: Oh, shit. I hadn't considered this.

ALICE: What's going on?

LIONEL: We've entered a situation that's entirely too meta.

The scene rumbles, and the INCEPTION BWOOOOONG plays.

BLAKE: [whispering] Not so loud. That was too close to deconstructing the sketch.

LIONEL: Sorry.

SLIGHT PAN RIGHT, to where a very confused man holding a skateboard and a dog is watching them in utter confusion (I envision this man as TOM WALKER). PAN BACK.

BLAKE: We need to leave, immediately. Before we notice us. It could ruin the sketch entirely. Mark? No syphilis this time.

MARK: Right you are. [beat] The first time I got gonorrhoea was -

They all fall asleep but MARK.

BLAKE'S SEVEN, MINUS MARK, appear nearby the drinkers from the DRINKING sketch.

LIONEL: Finally, some breathing space.

BLAKE: [imperceptibly relieved] Too right.

ALICE: Uh, guys?

THE DRINKERS are looking directly at the actors. One shatters a mug and the other bursts into tears.

            BLAKE: We have to go deeper!

LIONEL: I have a scar on my right knee that I got from spilling coffee on my knee -

They fall asleep MINUS LIONEL.

BLAKE AND ALICE appear on EASTERN AVENUE. In the background, the dancers are dancing from the VOMIT/DANCE sketch.

They begin walking away.

BLAKE: Alice … There's one more jump to make. And I want you to be the one who makes it.

ALICE: What … why?

BLAKE: [looking away, going into serious mode] My role in all this is too nebulous. I've been driving you on, to get to the bottom of the sketchescape. I'm an impetus, not a catalyst. The truth is … I have no idea what I should do if I went down there.

ALICE: But neither do I! I don't even know where I'm going to!

BLAKE: But I do. And I know that, whatever happens, you'll figure it out. You'll find an ending. It's what you were made to do, Alice. It's -

He is STABBED. The EXTRA behind him appears in the shot.

EXTRA: You call that ACTING?! THIS, is ACTING!

ALICE smacks him with a huge mallet out of nowhere, with a big comedy bwooowowoowow. She rushes back to BLAKE'S side.

BLAKE: [laughs wetly, saying the monologue from the beginning of the video] We waited too long. We need to go back. Find an ending. So we can be young together.

ALICE falls asleep to the sound of BLAKE'S VOICE.

SHE APPEARS IN FRONT OF A DOOR. She stares at it. It looms above her. Slowly, she opens it.

INSIDE is the room from the OPENING CREDITS. MICHAEL AND DANIELLE, THE VIDEO DIRECTORS, are seated atop the PILE OF BODIES, as in the last shot of the OPENING CREDITS. They watch her.

ALICE: Who are you?

MICHAEL: Well, uh. [looks at Dani] We're the directors.

DANIELLE: We directed this video.

MICHAEL: It was pretty silly.

DANIELLE: Mostly just a bunch of people dying in bizarre ways. An escalation sketch.

THE INCEPTION BWOOONG PLAYS. ALICE jumps, but D&M don't seem to notice.

MICHAEL: We were actually wondering how to end it. Because we don't have a way to die like the others.

ALICE: Well, I'm in this sketch about Inception …

DANIELLE: A sketch about Inception?

MICHAEL: Like, a parody?

ALICE: More of an extended homage.

MICHAEL: An extended homage? That … could be really good. You know, avoiding meta for the sake of meta and just, being really faithful, while writing it sharply. I like that.

DANIELLE: It still doesn't solve our problem, though.

FOCUS on ALICE'S FACE. Flashes of the conversation from Part One.

BLAKE'S VOICE: The writer is the creator of the sketch. They must see it to the end. If it’s well written, it’ll end exactly when they choose.


BLAKE'S VOICE: Find an ending. So we can be young together.


ALICE: I can do it. I can change things. I can change … myself.

DANIELLE: Cool, whatever.

ALICE pulls a gun, and from outside of the room we see two flashes. The BWOOOOOONG starts playing constantly now.


            ALICE: It's over!


She appears next to BLAKE and grabs his hand. DOLLY ZOOM away from them.





They appear with BRADLEY, DOLLY ZOOM AWAY. The PRESENTER is looking at them, confused.


Lights up on them sitting around a writer's meeting table. It is the same room as the one the opening credits are shot in. They wake up, and one by one they file out, smiling, like the end of Inception.

ALICE is left alone at the table. BLAKE is the last one out, and they share a smile as he leaves. She looks at her hands.

ALICE: But … am I still in a sketch? How would I know? I … would I need to be told stuff?

MICHAEL'S VOICE FROM BEHIND CAMERA: Cut! Okay, great stuff there [actor's name]. Let's take five for a sec. Dani, can you get the others back in?

DANI: Sure. [she walks to the door]

MICHAEL: Okay, [actor's name], we're gonna do it again, let me give you a few notes on your performance real quick.

ALICE: Sure.




Michael Richardson,
Jul 14, 2012, 9:11 AM