2012‎ > ‎Video sketches‎ > ‎

Lights, Camera, Action

Cameraperson 1 is filming Director with Camera 1, a handheld style camera, being followed by Soundperson 1, offscreen.
Director: Welcome back to behind the scenes of the hit reality TV show, "Lights, Camera, Action". David is just getting ready to film the introduction to the final challenge for our two finalists, Eugene and Kelly. It's a mystery challenge, so they have no idea what to expect.

Cut to prerecorded reaction with Kelly.
Kelly: When they told us we'd be doing a mystery challenge, I had literally no idea what to expect.

Cut back to Camera 1.
Director: Look, David's psyching himself up.
Camera 1 pans to David, the Presenter.
Presenter: [odd, quiet chanting]
Cameraperson 2 and Soundperson 2 are visible behind him near Camera 2.
Director: Ok, we're about to start. [to everyone] Alright, let's get going. In positions! We have lights!
SP2: Sound!
CP2: Camera!
Direction: And... Action!

Cut to Camera 2 filming Presenter and the two final contestants, Kelly and Eugene. Kelly is holding sound equipment and Eugene is holding Camera 3.
Presenter: So, for your mystery challenge, you'll be doing a documentary. But not just on anything, you'll be doing a documentary about film making. And in order to keep the documentary style fresh, we asked ourselves, who should we get you to film? Well, who better than our behind the scenes crew!
Camera 2 pans to include everyone in the shot.
Kelly: What?
Director: What.
Presenter: You have one day and one day only to get all the footage you need, so spend your time wisely.
Kelly: Uh, Eugene, get the camera rolling. We need B roll!
Eugene: I can't, Kelly, my hands are shaking!
Kelly reaches over to start Camera 3 recording.
Director: No, no, no! Wait-

Cut to Camera 3.
Director: Aaaaah, my frontal cortex...
SP1: What the fuck's going on?
SP2: Hey, watch the language, I hate bleeping shit out in post.
CP1 and CP2 slowly direct their cameras at one another. They become locked in a trance. Camera 3 is quickly panning back and forth between the two.
Eugene: Uh, guys, I think we need to do something.

Cut to Camera 2, still locked in a trance with Camera 1.
Director: Who the hell came up with this idea?
Presenter: Haha, Christine knew you wouldn't be thrilled. Your reaction's great for the contestants' footage.

Cut to Camera 1, still locked in trance.
Director: Those goddamn producers! Going over my head AGAIN!
Director, Presenter, SP1 and SP2 continue to bicker.
Kelly: This is gold! Keep the camera rolling, Eugene!

Cut to Camera 3. Camera is shaking violently.
Eugene: I can't hold it, Kelly! Help!

Cut to Camera 4. View is from somewhere back stage.
Everyone is still bickering
Eugene lowers camera and looks directly at Camera 4.
Eugene: Guys? How many film crews do we have here?
Director: What? We have... Aaaah! My head!
Presenter: We should have three.
Eugene: What's that over there then?
Everyone stops and looks towards Camera 4.
Kelly: That's where the entrance was. Why's there a wall there now?
Director: This studio is open, it's only supposed to have three walls. 
Eugene: It can't be a wall. It's watching us.
Director: What are you on about?
Everyone continues to stare. Eugene walks slowly towards Camera 4, stops.
Offstage: Well folks, it seems they've found us. Why don't we go on stage and give them a hand?
The wall opens up and Aliens for Alien Magic sketch walk onto stage, sending the cast and crew of Lights Camera Action running.