2012‎ > ‎Video sketches‎ > ‎

Death Star Defence Force Advertisement.

Open to a farmer walking around stoney buildings.

Voiceover: You there!  Yes you!  What have you done for your planet lately?

Farmer: Me?  Well I'm jut a simple moisture farmer.

Voiceover: What if I told you that you could be part of the most elite defence force in existence?

Farmer: Well I'd say you were pulling my taun-taun.

Cue 80s Inspirational music.

Voiceover: By joining the Death Star Defence Force you can learn some great new manoeuvres, blow up fantastic new places and learn more about our Great Empire.  Ever wanted to sleep in a fresh ton-ton sleeping bag in the Arctic? So efficient they carry themselves!  And you thought it smelt bad on the outside.

Various shots of ton-tons from ESB.

Cut to interviews with attractive DSDF members.

Female Pilot:  I used shake it in a golden bikini for the Hutts, but then I joined the Death Star Tie Fighter Squadron and now no one can shake me. 

Bodyguard:  I thought I was kind of short for a Storm Trooper, so instead I joined the Emperor's personal bodyguard.  I don't have to anything, REALLY I DON'T DO ANYTHING.  All I have to do is stand there looking fabulous.

Voiceover:  From technician to starpilot, there is a small moon worth of jobs in the Death Star Defence Force.  Why put up with your dead end senate job when you can serve on the ULTIMATE POWER IN THE UNIVERSE.  Walk slowly yet menacingly towards your enemies in an AT-AT!  Defy the 3720 to 1 survival odds of flying into an asteroid field!

Farmer:  Golly, I never knew I had these opportunities!

Voiceover:  Next time you're at Toshi's station picking up some power converters, why not enlist for the DSDF?  

Rolling shots of Stormtroopers wearing civilian clothing, opening up their shirts to reveal stormtrooper uniform underneath.

Voiceover:  Sign up for the Death Star Defence Force today!  Where the only weakness is smaller than a womp rat!