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Theme 3

(Fancy casino. FEMME and EULER are eating dinner at a table. Other people gambling.)

FEMME: They enjoyed a delicious meal at the Regent Casino. Femme had offered to pay, but Euler gallantly refused to let her, which was great, because the place was expensive.
(silence)

FEMME: He was a gentleman, a man of infinite patience. He sat in silence, too busy analysing the situation to talk.
EULER: I’m ignoring you because you chloroformed me.

(Crime lord FIBONACCI and goon STABBY)

FIBONACCI: Lady Fatale, Detective Euler
EULER: Fibonacci! Should’ve guessed.
FIBONACCI: Enjoying the food I trust?
EULER: Anaesthetic tends to take away one’s appetite.
FEMME: Well you can take it from me that the ravioli is excellent.
EULER: *ignoring FEMME* What are you doing here? Last time we met, you were facing thirty years in Cosine Prison for money laundering.
FIBONACCI: And you were the one who put me there. Remember when you shot me in the arm?
EULER: Remember the time you kidnapped my partner?
FIBONACCI: Remember the time I burned down your house?
FEMME: Why’d you even do that?
FIBONACCI: Because crime is fun. Also I hate Euler. But we have a common motive now.
FEMME: You both want to disprove the anti-crime equation.

(BOHR folds down the newspaper he’d been hiding behind at another table)

FIBONACCI: That damn equation!
EULER: What’s your problem with it?
FIBONACCI: It spoiled crime for me! Organised crime is supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the people. Now? They just explain it away, like smallpox or Santa Claus. I used to be respected, feared. I used to be Fibonacci, the terrifying crime lord. Now I’m just Fibonacci, the quirky casino owner.
EULER: What a shame.
FIBONACCI: No-one even bothers guarding banks or fireproofing their house. There’s no challenge anymore.
FEMME:
It’s all too easy.
EULER: Well, I’m so sorry to hear arson doesn’t give you the kick it used to.
FIBONACCI: Euler, I can’t commit crimes, and you can’t solve them.
FEMME: You both want to expose the Grand Mathematician.
EULER: I guess we do. Do you have a plan?
FIBONACCI: Yeah. I know where the Grand Mathematician is.
EULER: How’d you figure it out, Fibonacci?
FIBONACCI: Oh, there were clues everywhere. It was one thing after another thing, after two things, after three things, after five things-
FEMME: After eight things?
FIBONACCI: No Femme, after five things I had enough evidence to deduce a pattern and confirm my hypothesis.

(BOHR folds down his/her newspaper again)

EULER: Where is he?
FIBONACCI: Like I’d just tell you. Have you run off by yourself and claim the glory? We’ll go together.
EULER: Fine, we'll leave now.
FEMME: I’ll come too.
EULER: We - and exclusively we - will leave now.
FIBONACCI: We’ll abolish that damn equation once and for all!
BOHR: Don't worry Euler! I'll save you!
(BOHR flips the table over, runs towards Euler and co. STABBY (a man with knives for hands) knifes him as he approaches the table and he's visibly hampered by this for the rest of the scene)
EULER: Bohr! You’ve been stabbed!
BOHR: No, I’m alright... I’m fine...
EULER: Stay still.... What're you doing here?
BOHR: Saving you?...
EULER: Someone get bandages!
FIBONACCI: Or at least napkins, he’s bleeding all over my tablecloth. And Stabby! We've been through this! Why must you always stab people?
STABBY: It's all I know mama! (waves hands)
BOHR: What’s all this fuss about? No-one has been stabbed here. It was an accident!
STABBY: No I definitely meant to stab you.
BOHR: Accident until proven suicide!
EULER: I respect your conviction, Bohr. But we need to get you to a hospital.
BOHR: Hospitals are for $12.50 cats and communists. To the grand Matthew mortician!
EULER: (firm but kind) Well, okay, you big, bleeding idiot. Grab your bandages, we’re leaving.
BOHR: There's no spleen in crime city!
EULER shoulders BOHR as they exit with FIBONACCI and FEMME.

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