2012‎ > ‎Theme: Sin(x) City‎ > ‎

Theme 2

[The crime scene picks up from theme 1: FEMME, EULER, BOHR]

FEMME: (aside) A beautiful young dame approached the crime scene. Her presence was naturally intriguing to the two men therein - a source of both confusion and arousal. She had the face of Ingrid Bergman and the eyes of a human. Her lips, tomato saucy red. Her skin, tomato saucy white.
EULER: Porcelain.
FEMME: The perfect tomato saucy porcelain. The man was sharp. Ugly, but sharp.
EULER: Excuse me?
FEMME: Yes, handsome?
EULER: Who are you?
FEMME: I’m mysterious and seductive and you can call me Femme. Femme Fatale.
EULER: Tell me what you know, otherwise leave.
FEMME: (aside) He saw through her beauty, like Humphrey Bogart seeing through someone’s beauty. But he couldn’t see into her mind.
BOHR: We can hear you.
FEMME: (aside) You can’t.
EULER: I can.
FEMME: (aside) He saw into her mind.
EULER: What do you know about the Grand Mathematician?
FEMME: Nothing. Everything. The price of a cat.
EULER: Is he the cause of these crimes?
FEMME: Maybe. Maybe not. Roughly $12.50.
BOHR: Cheap cat.
FEMME: What if there is a sickness to this city not even the Grand Mathematician and the Prime Council knows about? A sickness of... crime.
BOHR: No! If there really was such a thing as crime, we would have learned about it at Accident Investigation School.
EULER: Bohr, what’s the motto of that school?
BOHR: “We investigate accidents, also, there is no crime.”
FEMME: What if I told you some accidents... were crimes?
BOHR: I’d be speechless.
FEMME: Some accidents... are crimes.
BOHR: (speechless) Well played.
(Femme picks up Bohr’s briefcase)
BOHR: Hey, those are confidential paper words!
FEMME: Alistair P., 64. Woke up one night to discover strangers rooting through his silverware. BOHR: Mistaken geography!
FEMME: Betty J., 32. Young man took her purse.
BOHR: Surprise lending!
FEMME: Dear diary, today Chief called me son and said he was proud of -
(BOHR grabs paper, awkward silence.)
EULER: Bohr-
BOHR: LOVE IS NOT A CRIME! (runs off stage)
FEMME: They were starting to trust her. A fatal mistake, for she would soon double cross them.
EULER: You’re going to double cross us?
FEMME: (Point BOHR’s exit) Like that, but worse.
EULER: (grabs Femme) One, That’s not a doublecross. Two, stay the hell away from me. Three, if you don’t make yourself useful in 10 seconds, I’m throwing you in ther river.
FEMME: You can’t do that! I’m a maverick, but a maverick you need to solve this case.
EULER: You’re not a maverick, you’re a psychopath.
FEMME: My mind is a box of cats!
EULER: If I give you $12.50 will you leave?
FEMME: (grabs EULER) If you’ve listened to anything I’ve said today then maybe, just maybe, you see that there *is* crime in this city.
EULER: Evidently.
FEMME: I know someone who can help you find the Grand Mathematician. Look into my eyes - do you trust me?
EULER: Not even slightly.
FEMME: Because you shouldn’t.
EULER: I don’t.
FEMME: That’s what I wanted to hear. So you’ll come with me?
EULER: I’d love to say no, but you’re the only lead I’ve got, so I guess I will.
FEMME: If you won’t come willingly, then you give me no choice.
EULER: I just said...
(FEMME chloroforms EULER with the rag. Pause, then lights down.)
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